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Those who know me, and those who've heard me preach, know that intimacy with God is a subject very close to my heart, one I preach everywhere, because without that intimacy I couldn't have gone to Mali and survived. Intimacy with HIM is the key to everything!

And that is probably the reason why it's also what is most contested in my life, the area that is most under attack, constantly, every day. And tonight I have a confession to make, from a broken, grieving heart: I've failed.

I've failed my Lord & Lover, I've failed my team and my church, and my children, I've failed all of you who've been supporting me.

In Matthew 7, Jesus addresses his followers, telling them of those who do all these wonderful things for him (see verse above). These people were not unbelievers - they drove out demons (and we know from the 7 sons of Sceva how the demons would react to unbelievers), these followers of Christ were mouthpieces of God, speaking on His behalf. They healed the sick and did signs and wonders, advancing His kingdom in the earth. And yet, they didn't KNOW Jesus. KNOW means intimately knowing. Those believers did wonderful things, and yet Jesus did not KNOW them. He couldn't remember their faces gazing upong Him. He couldn't remember their words of love whispered into His ears. He couldn't remember holding them in His arms and letting His very essence fill them. Yes, they did great things, but they forgot the most important: just BEING with their Beloved. They will pay a high price because they will not enter into the kingdom of heaven (see verse 21).

And I've failed my Beloved, allowing the busy-ness of life to move me further and further away from the One I love. Yes, I now have 4 kids in the house with me, yes I teach them every morning, yes I still have to preach, teach, counsel, do the accounting, the printing, the writing, the cooking, the comforting, and spending time with my kids. Yes, nights have become far too short, and yes, my body has started to complain loudly about the lack of sleep. And yes, I've lost two team members who chose not to follow the call of God, leaving me with one 18-year-old team member, who's only available until the end of September.

All of these are good reasons, but no excuses. HE must always be first, my time with HIM must take precedence over everything else. Tonight (Sunday) I just wept and wept, crying out to Him, telling Him how desperately I needed Him, more than anything else in this world, and I couldn't, I wouldn't continue without living in the secret place again, without hearing His hearbeat and being lost in His glorious love continually. I also wept out of despair at failing again and again, and not knowing the solution. I cried out to the Lord to do a deep work in me, to ruin me forever with His glory, to not send me back (in 5 weeks) the same I was now. And also to make a way where there is no way; to send workers so I wouldn't have to do everything myself, but could have that most precious and important time with HIM.

I'm praying for the Lord to unite me with my husband-to-be, who is being prepared somewhere in this world. And I'm praying for workers to be sent into the harvest! I know that there are those of you reading these words who feel God's call to GO. And I'm praying for the Lord raise up more, many more, Malian workers to join us in the task at hand.

If you pray anything for me, please pray for me to never ever lose my intimacy with my Bridegroom King again, but to live continually in His glory presence, as prophesied.

BUILDING PROJECT UPDATE

In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. (Ps 18:6) Thank you to all of you who encouraged me after the CONSTRUCTION IMPOSSIBLE? email, and who prayed. The Lord answered your prayers!

I never saw the Malian architect again - he finally understood that we don't have that kind of money.

Instead the Lord gave us an American architect near Atlanta who has taken on this project. He and his team will make the drawings for us, and be in communication with the construction manager in Mali. This past weekend in Paris, I've taken a walk with the Lord on our property, with everything built, and I've sat down and done a lot of drawing putting it all on paper.

The other good news is that just before I left Mali last week Wednesday, I met with a Christian man who's built many churches and other buildings in Mali, and who was highly recommended to me. He said he's willing to be our construction manager - and he even speaks English!

PRAISE THE LORD! Your prayers made the difference!

Now all that's still missing is the finances to do all of this, but I have no doubt whatsoever that He has already taken care of that as well. May what is already done in heaven be made manifest on earth!

We're gonna build my house, the house for Seybou & his family, and the third little house, first so that at least we can all move and not pay rent anymore, before starting with the main building and the other small buildings. There will be room for 200 kids (100 on each floor), the school, a medical facility, workshops, messhall, church, offices, and our vegetable garden.

MONTHLY SUPPORT

A few days ago the Lord reminded me of the verse, You don't have because you don't ask, and encouraged me to make the monthly needs known. Again and again I meet people who think I'm fully supported from the US or from Austria or from some other source. Everyone thinks the money is coming from elsewhere, when in reality I'm fully dependent on the Lord to meet the meets at hand, never knowing where it will come from. By now, we are 10 people living together in the rented house, and our monthly expenses are close to $2000. But only the rent (a fourth of those expenses) is taken care of by what is given by my church in Austria and a few individuals (I thank the Lord for them!). Yet, the Lord is faithful, always bringing in the rest some way or other.

So today I'm addressing those who'd like to advance God's kingdom in Mali, who'd like to sow into this growing ministry on a monthly basis. Maybe you'd like to take care of some of these biggest, specific needs:

         ($440   rent)
          $200   electricity & water
          $200   phone & internet
          $180   salaries & food for 3 people
          $100   Malian doctor for all of us

Once the building project is done, there won't be any more rent or electricity to pay - just 200 kids to take care of ;-) (I have not listed the expenses for our 6 kids, because a big percentage of that is covered by their sponsorships.)

If you'd like to give a one-time donation, or support us on a monthly basis, please contact me and/or go to the DONATE page on my website.

BACK IN MALI

SALIM's father, a man of visible violence, told us he wanted to erase the memory of his son from their family, however, he wouldn't sign the paper that he could stay with us. Later the neighbors held a council with the family and decided anything was better than Salim being with Christians, and they forced his Dad to take him back. Every person in our neighborhood I've talked to is of the same opinion, that he will one day kill his son. Salim avoids his father and now stays with us from morning till evening. When school starts again in fall, he's also gonna attend our school (currently I'm the teacher)with the others.

PAUL - himself still a "kid" - is now alone in taking care of the kids. When I left, he told me that God was in charge, and coming back I would find that he'd received 10 talents and gained another 10. Please pray for him during the weeks ahead.

THE KIDS had a hard time saying good-bye, especially Abdias. For Hama it will also be very hard not to receive his daily dose of love, but I've charged the other kids to love on him. Please pray for all 6 kids. I've also just added a page to my site with pictures and info on each kid.

In a few hours it's time for me to board a plane to the US, where I'm gonna spend a month, in three different cities, attending two conferences, seeing old friends again, and making new. I'm only preaching once; my purpose is to be refreshed, to draw closer to Him, to refocus, and return to Mali with fresh vision and direction, as well as strength and energy. Please pray for divine appointments during the month ahead.

All glory, and power, and honor, and praise belong to Him, our glorious Bridegroom and King! What honor to know and serve Him! Hallelujah!

For HIS GLORY,

Claudia