This
newsletter was written using a Commodore 64 machine, then copying,
literally cutting and pasting the pictures into it. It was then
photocopied (explanation for bad pictures) and mailed by postal
service.
The original
wording has not been changed, nor English mistakes been corrected.
|
Vienna,
25.6.1995
HELP!
Dear friend,
The main
reason you haven’t got my “News from Vienna 8“
yet is my financial situation (please - you have to return this
coupon if you still want to receive them !). Nevertheless I have
to send out this “cry for help“.
As you know, I was supposed to meet my father the 10 of July.
I didn’t really expect him to come (as he had never responded
to my cards) and so wasn’t really disappointed at first.
Then I thought I would give him “another chance“ and
propose him another meeting, in case he had some good reason not
to come that day. So I went on sending my cards, proposing him
another meeting the 1st of July. Some days later, I received a
letter from him. I didn’t dare opening it alone but realized
later there hadn’t been any reason to fear. The letter was
really nice and telling me that he hadn’t been in his flat
for a long time so that he hadn’t but discovered the following
day that I had wanted to meet him the day before. He also wrote
that he was terribly frightened of a meeting with me but that
he would like to see me anyway. I tried to phone him immediately
(as he had written me his telephone number) but he wasn’t
at home. I then decided to write back a long letter as I had so
many things on my heart but failed because of the lack of time.
So I just continued to send my cards (to his permanent address),
but wanting to phone him to get assured of the 1st of July and
also that it would be easier to talk to him after having talked
to each other on the telephone after such a long time (about 9
years).
So time passed by and nothing happened. This morning I got up
late (as I only have evening services now !) and I had intended
to commit this day totally to the Lord, looking forward to a time
of extended prayer and Bible study. After some time of Bible reading
and prayer, I felt that the way opened to phone my father. You
know, I don’t like phoning people very much, especially
if there is an inconvenient reason. But I now I felt I could do
it with God’s help. So I prayed some more and asked God
for His strength and wisdom as I would talk to my father. Then
I rang him up and this time he was at home. He picked up the receiver
and said, “Wintoch ?“ I said, “Who is speaking
there ?“ (I didn’t recognize the voice.) He said,
“Wintoch“ I said, “Wolfgang ?“ (That’s
his first name.) He said, “Yes.“ I said, “That’s
Claudia speaking.“ I heard a kind of emotional shock on
the other end. I myself was really in God’s arm as I talked
and wasn’t really nervous. I just wanted to talk to him
a bit but obviously he tried to finish the conversation as quickly
as possible. I asked him whether it’s okay for him to meet
next Saturday and he agreed. So he said, “See you on Saturday
and then we’ll talk.“ and that was it more or less.
Afterwards, I felt feelings of fear coming up. We hadn’t
recognized each other’s voices, I had realized his language
being unfamiliar and had felt like talking to a stranger. Nine
years ago when we had met, I had been shocked by his appearance
and his way so that I didn’t want to see him again. What
if it will be the same next Saturday ? What if I will feel rejection
towards him ? What if I won’t like him ? What if I won’t
like to talk to him ? What if I won’t like to see him again
? On the other hand I have been waiting and praying for that day
for such a long time, since my conversion. So I trust God that
He will hold me in my arms and give me the love I need. Please,
please, pray for these things ! Pray for God that he
will give me extra-strength and love and that He will be so close
to me ! Please pray for me while I’m meeting my father.
I would appreciate that very much. Right now, there are these
anxious thoughts in my mind, after having phoned with my father.
I trust God that everything will work out for my and my father’s
best and praise him for having made this meeting possible. I know
that He will answer all your prayers. Thank you for praying for
me the
1st
of July, from 3 pm on
The Lord
bless you and reward you richly for your care and concern. You’ll
get my “News from Vienna 8“ soon (although I still
don’t have the financial means).
With love
in Christ,
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