LORD for what He has done for me two weeks ago! Before telling
you I have to go back to March. It’s a shame I didn’t
manage to write earlier but you already know how busy I am –
especially in May and June now.
really hard for me now to write about all the wonderful things
God has been doing as I still have to go to my parents’
to write on the computer (but these are the last News written
on this computer). Every time again it’s really depressing
to return here and every time again I really have to go there
placing myself under the blood of Jesus and staying in an attitude
of prayer, looking to Him all the time. Every time again there
is something happening as just a few minutes ago when my mother
got furious. I told her I wouldn’t come to one of their
dancing competitions (I always went there without any exceptions,
placing anything else behind them). It’s really hard to
try to please parents. Although I try my best, they are never
content. Now, as I am no longer living at home, our relationship
is even getting worse and worse, as there are hardly any things
left to talk about – and possibilities. I really feel a
little helpless at the moment, not knowing what to do in order
to show them my love and concern. I can’t go everywhere
they want me to go. Please pray for wisdom when I have to decide
where to go (besides they never go to any activities I invite
them to, e.g. when I’m singing).
Back to more
joyful things! The 20th of March, we had the annual general meeting
at the observatory. The other members of the leading committee
tried hard to persuade me to run again for the “leader for
planning and organizing”, especially as the observatory
will be reopened in September what means a lot of work. I’m
glad God helped me to stand firm to my decision, although it was
hard, and so I’m now free from any commitments to the observatory
but I will still be involved in some way. That Monday evening
was the last I missed at the ÖSM – praise God!
whole March I tried hard to move into my flat as soon as possible
– but it wasn’t able that quickly. It was the 23rd
of March when I finally signed the contract (and payed for it).
It’s for the whole duration of my studies – that’s
great, isn’t it? Because after my studies I intend to go
to England for the Bible college right away. It wasn’t before
the 28th that I got the keys and not before the 1st of April that
I was able to go there. That Saturday I went there early in the
morning starting to clean everything. Then in the afternoon,
I was glad to have three friends helping me to bring some furniture
there. My mother’s parents (with whom I do the Bible study)
gave me six chairs and four comfortable seats whereI slept on
the first week. That was all I had in the beginning – not
to forget my piano I brought there the first day. Then the 2nd
of April, as my brother and I visited my father’s parents
(three times a year), they told me that they would get a new kitchen
and that they had intended to throw away quite a lot of stuff.
So the following day we went there and got a small bus full of
furniture. So I got two cupboards, three small ones and some kitchenware
– actually I almost have too much of those as everybody
gave me a little. The third of April I was glad to get electricity
and gas and the following night was my first one. I also brought
a small electric heater but still I was really freezing most of
the time. The first thing in the morning was to turn it on. The
first part of April was really very cold. We had just some degrees
above zero. Meanwhile I can cope without the heater (we’ve
even had 27 degrees some days ago!). Then a week after having
moved there, I got a bed in a wonderful way! A girl in a hall
returned home and didn’t want to take her bed with her.
So I could just take it with me. Meanwhile I’ve arranged
the little furniture I have in a really very nice and good way
and started to put all kind of things on the walls. The first
thing I had brought into the flat was my English Bible. I entered
the flat and took it over for Jesus. I gave it into His hands
and asked Him to use it for His purpose. Since then we’ve
had two ÖSM-prayer meetings here, I’ve been praying
with my prayer partner Louise, I’ve had family members and
non-Christians here. I’m so thankful for the flat! The games
evenings haven’t started yet for I actually don’t
know at the moment when to do them.
of March was a terrible one for me. For two weeks I had to be
at the observatory every evening – but that’s not
the reason. The situation with my family was getting worse and
I just couldn’t stand it any longer, longing with my whole
being for the 1st of April. At the same time, I struggled with
quiet times and felt worse and worse, getting further and further
away from God. At the same time I was struggling with my past
again and again, being constantly aware of the need of healing
and doing something for it. It became harder to pray and when
the seven English CUers came the 27th of March and stayed for
some days, I was even glad to miss prayer meetings! Can you imagine
that? I, whose heart is so burning for prayer! It was that week
when I reached the lowest point and then, rapidly as I moved away,
God lifted me up again. How much did I enjoy being able to sing
all the time, to pray any time and to just have real
quiet time with God! I enjoyed my new freedom a lot (but that’s
not the freedom I meant on page 1!).
As I have
mentioned, the 27th of March seven English came to Austria for
their return visit. I was busy organizing it beside all the other
activities but I did enjoy it anyway, especially being together
with students from Britain, being able to show them the most possible
of Vienna and the ÖSM. Some days later they went on to Salzburg,
Innsbruck and Graz before returning to Vienna the 5th of April
and leaving us some hours later. How much would I have wanted
to go with them!
I’ve had not more than one Bible study with Ansbert –
which was a very good one! Although you could imagine him to be
a Christian, he insists that he is not and I believe him when
he explains me why. Anyway, he is not very far away. He is eager
to learn more about God and comes to every Christian activity.
He’s now going round the churches to see what they’re
like. I think it was the 2nd of April when he first came to VCC.
Although he’s rather an introverted person, he was deeply
touched. He said he loved the worship and the atmosphere, and
the sermon was very appropriate. God had provided just the right
service for him. It’s a shame he didn’t respond to
the altar call. Anyway, he liked it and will come again. Meanwhile
we continue our Bible study together.
I have much
worse news concerning Michi. That first Bible study I mentioned
last time was the only one we had. During the following weeks,
he either didn’t come or didn’t want and finally he
told me, that he was fed up at that moment, not wanting to read
the Bible at all, and anyway, he wouldn’t have time to do
so, because of his studies. He said that we could possibly continue
after the Easter break. I’m really worried about Michi and
don’t really know what to do. I haven’t phoned him
after the Easter break yet.
As time was
passing, I’ve faithfully (more or less) been writing cards
to my father, meanwhile having reached the c
of möchte (of “Ich liebe Dich und
möchte Dich wiedersehen.” = “I love you and want
to see you again.”). As I’ve asked him on the first
cards to finally notice the change of my bank account, and
he did, so I know now that he is at least reading the
cards. My intention is now to propose a date and place where to
meet him. I haven’t seen my father for about 7/8 years,
and before that one time I hadn’t seen him for years either.
So this meeting might be one, if not the, of
the most difficult things I have ever done in my life (something
more difficult just came to my mind I’ll have to do –
later!). So I really ask you to pray for me that day. I’ll
propose him the
of June, 3 pm
ago my father’s parents visited me for the first time. I
was amazed by how generous my grandmother was, bringing me again
some stuff she wouldn’t need any more. They were really
very kind and I was glad to get to know them better. It has been
on my heart for some time to improve our relationship and to really
base it on truth and love. So far the other part of my family
always talks badly about them which I’ve always hated. That
day I was even able to break a taboo by asking my grandmother
about my father. The only thing she could tell me was that he
didn’t contact them more often than every few months and
that they didn’t even know where he works. But she could
give me the correct telephone number although he is traveling
a lot. I even told my grandmother that I was trying to contact
him and she promised to tell him that I would want to meet him
As I am looking
at the prayer requests of “News from Vienna 6”, I
realize that at least four of them have been answered. I’ll
write later about the fourth (“God’s healing of all
my emotions from my past”). The fifth was the decision about
my studies. There’s no doubt that I’ll do African
studies instead of physics. The only hurting thing is that I won’t
be able to do teaching with that combination but I’m looking
forward to learning two African languages and to learning about
the country I’ll go to hopefully in 7 years (! – terrible
number!!!) years time. Jesus might very well come back meanwhile!
request was about the summer. I’ve considered two possibilities
and decided to go to Africa next year. This year I’ll spend
the second week of July in Mittersill (ÖSM-camp), then I’ll
probably stay another week in Vienna before leaving. I might take
Louise with me in my car (please pray for her to decide that soon!),
stopping in Switzerland to meet her friends and then stopping
in Paris to meet my friends before arriving in ENGLAND (where
else?!). Then I’ll do the IFES-summer team (outreach) in
Bournemouth again (two and a half weeks). I usually never do anything
twice, but that’s an exception. After the mission I hope
to stay there more weeks in Bournemouth, in any case in Britain,
and – with God’s help – to start writing my
biography (although that might need more time and I won’t
have any time after my return to Austria). So, as one of the IFES-team
members is probably going to return with me to Austria, I’ll
have to do so in the middle of September. But that’s not
clear yet. I might as well stay longer in England, or –
what I’d love to do – join the IFES summer-team in
Paris the last two weeks of September. We’ll see.
Back to April.
The last request, “the start of my new life in the flat”,
has been answered, too. I enjoy life very much there and really
start living now, especially after the conference that took place
the Easter weekend in Vienna. And that’s the highlight my
News started with. Now I tell you how the Lord answered all your
prayers concerning the fourth request, “God’s healing
of all my emotions from my past”, and I know how much you
have been praying for that.
started on Thursday, 13th of April, and went till Sunday morning.
The title was “JESUS FOR AUSTRIA ’95 – Holy
Spirit and Revival”, consisting of 8 meetings with about
500 people. The main speaker was Claudio Freidzon (3 meetings),
an anointed pastor of the fastest growing church in Argentina,
then Peter Wenz, pastor of the fastest growing church in Germany,
and other pastors who experience renewal in their churches. I
hadn’t been aware before that the title of the conference
should have been “Toronto-blessing”, because that
was what was going on there, although in a very weakened form.
Anyway, God was moving in an amazing way and I’ll tell you
what He has done for me.
I went to
that conference saying to God, “My Lord, you know how much
I long to be free of all the things that result out of my past
– but not for my sake but so that I might serve you more
effectively.” We always had a great worship time first,
then the sermon (they were all good, but Peter Wenz’s were
great!) and then a time of prayer and ministry. I was a bit disappointed
that there were so few people I knew so I had to sit “alone”
for some meetings. God touched me from the beginning on and started
working within me. Before the second meeting, I was so glad to
see one of the elders of VCC, Wolfgang, and especially that he
came to sit beside me. That turned out to be the best thing that
could happen to me. During the time of ministry, Wolfgang prayed
for me, just when I needed it most, and again God touched me and
continued His work in me. In the afternoon I had to sit alone
again and then we had another great evening. God’s Spirit
was moving in power and filling up His children to overflowing
so that it was impossible to keep standing in God’s presence.
When the meeting finished, I just didn’t want to stop praying
and worhsipping the Lord, so I decided to go to the monthly prayer
night of VCC I usually go to. It started at 11:30 pm and I was
just worhiping the Lord with all of my heart. Later the pastor
came and we prayed for him. Praying for the Holy Spirit to come
and touch him, I myself went down under His power again and again.
Then we continued to worshp and meanwhile it was enough for me
to hear “the Glory of God” to fall down under the
Holy Spirit’s power and God’s glory. At 2:45 am I
reluctantly left and walked home (ten minutes by foot). There
I just didn’t want to go to bed and continued to worship
till 4:15 am. At 7 am I got up again to go to the conference.
That day Peter Wenz was speaking and it was in the afternoon when
he prayed for those living in bondage to their past etc. to be
freed. That moment God touched me again and took everything away,
giving me the assurance that finally the struggle was over, being
free in Christ! In the evening Wolfgang came
his second time to the conference. I was so full of joy, I immediately
had to tell him. That evening I sat together with four people
I knew. When we had the time of ministry, Satan’s first
attack came. I suppose he didn’t like my new-found freedom
very much. So he told me that I wasn’t really free and that
I wouldn’t know God’s love for me. First giving in,
I then was able to recognize his lie and worshipped the Lord with
even greater joy and freedom. As you know, I’ve always had
a heart for prayer and a heavy burden for the lost. The most special
moments with the Lord were when He had shown me His heart of compassion
so that I was before Him, crying and interceding for this world.
So that evening God renewed that calling again, and I went to
the front in obedience to His will. Coming back I was again so
filled with the Holy Spirit that I continuously fell down while
praising Him and saying certain things. I just didn’t want
to stop worshiping but to enjoy God’s presence for all eternity
– and that was even nothing compared to what it will be
like in heaven!
but later when I discovered that God had deepened my concern for
the lost and brokenhearted. Now, I also have this deep concern
and heavy burden for Christians who are struggling and I just
want to help anybody! God had blessed me so richly
and I want to pass on what He has given to me. God has really
given me a deep desire to serve others.
morning, we had the last meeting. Right from there I went to my
parents for Easter and when I saw them, I just embraced them being
so full of love for them. I also embraced Heinzi and I think it
was the first time, I really felt love for him!
At the same time my longing for them to be saved increased.
stay very long for I was supposed to sing in the worship team
that night. That night’s worship leader had also been in
the worship team at the conference and I was curious about what
God would do that night. We started our practice at 4 pm and had
a time of prayer. I sat down beforehand. The longer we prayed
and sang, and especially when I sang it from my heart, the stronger
I felt the Holy Spirit’s presence. Before we start the service,
the pastor, some elders and the worship team always join hands
and pray together. As we prayed the Holy Spirit’s presence
grew even stronger and I felt like falling down any moment. I
told the worship leader, Wolfgang and the pastor and they all
said “don’t worry” but I did! What if I’d
fall down there in the front? What would people think? Nobody
ever falls down in VCC! As we had our worship time, the Holy Spirit’s
presence was still very strong but I didn’t fall down. And
what sense would it make if I fell instead of leading the congregation
into worship?! So I sang and worshiped with my new-found freedom,
smiling all over my face, with a heavenly joy that I wondered
what people would think about me.
then? The next day, as I started reading my Bible, I thought Paul
would talk personally to me! Never has the Word of God been so
alive to me! I didn’t want to stop listening
and had to force myself to leave the house. Since then I’ve
been so hungry for God’s Word and have spent a lot of time
reading it, being glad of still having a week of vacation. God
has also not only given me a new heart for people but for VCC
itself. That Sunday night it was the first time that I completely
felt at home and accepted in VCC, after exactly a whole year of
being there. It has been hard to get to know people as they’re
not interested to have closer friendships, even those in the worship
team. But now, after two Sundays since the conference, there has
already been a big change, as suddenly people become more open.
I really thank God for having answered this prayer as it was on
my heart nearly for the whole year. That was also the reason why
I would never have been able to go from the Baptist Church directly
to VCC as I didn’t know anybody there. But God’s
ways are amazing! Now I really try to approach people who I don’t
know and who are obviously alone to get to know them and show
them my concern.
writing yesterday at one o’clock in the night and had the
possibility to come back today to continue. While I am writing,
my brother and his friend are sitting on the other side of the
cupboard and playing sex games on the computer which they have
bought today. My heart is full of pain when I think of my brother’s
lifestyle. Recently I was dreaming that my brother came home shivering
all over his body and being semi-conscious. I helped him to the
bed and then I looked at him, tears coming to my eyes as he was
living in darkness rejecting the gospel of salvation. You must
know that my brother is addicted to cigarettes (he smokes all
the time), to television (TV is on all the time and he can’t
fall asleep without) and so on (alcohol, cyberspace, …).
He even told me full of pride when they went to a brothel and
that they would go there again.
his 19th birthday.
dream, I woke up. It was 5:45 am. I went on my knees and prayed
and interceded for my brother. At 6:30 I went to bed again.
I want to
add something concerning the conference. Today I brought the conference
handbook with me. I appreciated that most of it consists of explanations
of the “manifestations” in the light of the Bible.
So I wanted to give you some references indicated here about falling
down: Gen 15:12, 1.Sam 19:23-24, Hes 3:23, Dan 8:17, Dan 10:9,
John 18:6, Acts 22:7, Rev 1:17.
Two days after
the conference I met with my grandparents again. I was really
on my heart to pass on to them from the blessing God had given
to me and so I prepared a Bible study on the Holy Spirit. Afterwards
they wanted me to pray for them and that was what I did. Two days
ago we did a Bible study on “having the assurance of being
saved”. This was an interesting chapter in that book and
considering all the points, I would rather have said that my grandparents
are not saved. I have the impression that Jesus will say to them,
“I never knew you. Away from me!” (Mat 7:23). All
I can do is praying and sharing with them. I was able to give
some good testimonies. Recently when I had invited them to my
place, I tried to explain them my calling to Africa, about what
God feels about the lost etc.. I think they’ve made some
progress in their thinking. The problem is that they don’t
read their Bibles for themselves at all although I emphasize again
and again the importance of doing that. That’s also a reason
why they can’t understand why people need a Bible in their
own language. Please pray that God would give them the longing
to read His word and to really know Jesus.
encouraging – and amazing – thing happened in March.
In one of my French courses we had to build groups of two or three
and to make an interview with a French native speaker. I immediately
thought of Betty, a French missionary who is in my church. After
having talked with the male student in our group for some time,
I discovered that he was a Christian! He had known all the time
(with all my stickers) that I was a Christian but didn’t
tell me, saying “Hello, sister” or something! Can
you imagine that?! I thought, how many more Christians are hiding
there at university amongst the other students? As I came to know
Paul better, I learnt that his second subject is catholic theology,
although he is going to a charismatic free church, not being catholic
at all. So we prepared the interview, asking her what she would
do in Austria as a missionary. She put the whole gospel into her
answer. So, two days ago, we presented our interview. We had more
than an hour to discuss about it. We had a real good conversation,
mainly the professor and us two, but some others said a few words,
too. The professor asked really good questions, not just us but
the others, too. So we learnt that they were all Christians, that
they had all read the Bible a little bit at school and that they
would go to church from time to time in order to be good Christians.
After the discussion, I was deeply stirred. All those students
sitting in front of me, listening carefully, living in darkness,
going to hell and not wanting to get to know Jesus. Through that
experience God has given me new motivation for the ÖSM-work.
Besides, it was great how God carried us through the discussion.
God has given me an unknown boldness in witnessing for Him.
look to the future now. Tonight we have our monthly worship team
fellowship group, tomorrow I’ll go to the VCC singles’
meeting for the first time. I’m happy to get more involved
in VCC now.
A big event
that is coming up is PRO CHRIST from the 7th to the 13th of May.
That’s a crusade in the German speaking countries of Europe.
A German pastor will speak every night which can be seen by satellite
in other cities. My grandparents will go there with me instead
of the Bible study when the topic will be “How can God allow
we’ll have this big evangelistic event “From Minus
to Plus” when every household will receive the gospel of
Luke. Reinhard Bonnke is the one who organizes it. The 20th of
May there will be a one day conference held by him in Salzburg
where I’ll go with some friends and then stay to the next
day. One of us will be Catherine, a French non-Christian. Please
pray for her that that day will bring her closer to God. She is
coming to our Grace Church Bible study (which is for Christians)
every week and also coming to the services quite often.
weekend, from the 25th to the 28th, we’ll have the annual
ÖSM-training weekend, which will be in Graz this year. The
following weekend is already the Pentecost weekend. It has been
hard to decide (for financial reasons) but I will go to Switzerland,
to Bern, for a conference with Guy Chevreau, John Arnott and others,
to be more equipped to serve God again. And that’s why I
fixed the appointment with my father a few days after my return.
Now, the most difficult thing in my life I mentioned before: It
already was in England, during my quiet time when this impression
was very strong that I should talk with my mother and Heinzi about
how I experienced my youth and what God has done for me. I said,
no God, you can’t demand that of me, and the time hadn’t
come yet. But now I think it’s time to do that although
God hasn’t demanded it of me again. So far, I fix this conversation
of June at about 5 pm,
the day I’m
coming back from the conference. Please pray that God would confirm
it again that it is His will for me to do that and for His protection
and strength that day. If it’s not God’s will,
it could turn out to be a disaster and the end of the relationship
with my mother and Heinzi. If it is, God could use it
in a mighty way to bring them to faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.
Actually it’s the only thing I can imagine that could change
their minds about my faith.
I told you about the end of the trial. Every one of us three had
to pay 3333 ATS / 333 $ / 208 £ / 1666 FF over a period
of three months, that means in three parts. The first was on the
5th of April , but the girl (who actually caused the trouble)
didn’t pay. I didn’t really do anything about it,
just hoped that she would pay two thirds now for the 5th of May.
Then this week, I had to go to the institute of physics, not having
been there for more than a month. When I entered the building,
I met this girl and immediately asked her why she hadn’t
given me the money. She said she hadn’t got it and still
hadn’t and wouldn’t pay this time again. Hearing that
I panicked! You can’t imagine how much money a new flat
costs, even if you try only to buy the necessary things. In the
days to come there are so many expenses coming up (e.g. the telephone)
that it’s a real hard test of faith. So I replied to her
that I don’t have any money either and that I couldn’t
pay her part once again. She didn’t care and just left.
Please pray that God would give her the money and that he would
urge her to give it to me. The thing is that I can’t do
anything if she decides not to give me the money.
sure I forgot to mention something but I don’t know what
it is now. Again I want to write you – now complete with
telephone number – my address:
Tel.: (+43 / 1) 40 70 957
In the last
few months the number of people who receive my News has grown
very quickly, especially those being in Vienna anyway. For that
reason it seems to become more difficult to write all those things
that happen as people who receive the News are involved themselves
and they will read what I write about them to meanwhile about
70 people all over the world. But I was surprised. I didn’t
write these News differently. I’m not thinking of a certain
person when I write but just thinking of writing to a good friend
who wants to know what’s going on. And so often I feel like
communicating one way. I understand that you don’t write
back because you already know everything about me, but I don’t
know what’s going on in your life! There might even be people
who are not interested in reading my News (any more) and just
getting them “by chance”. So I had to make a hard
decision: I ask you to fill in the enclosed coupon if you still
want to receive my “News from Vienna”. If you don’t
send it back, I won’t bother you any more, although it will
be hard to lose only one of you.
of prayer requests:
study with Ansbert; my grandparents
• Michi – that he would hold on to this faith
• relationship with my family; my father’s parents
• conversation with my mother and Heinzi – June 6th,
• readiness of my father to meet me – June 10th, 3
• my continual walk in God’s truth
Today I want
to close with a verse that deeply touched me right after the conference:
“If I were still trying to please men, I would not
be a servant of Christ” (Gal 1:10b).
I pray that
out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through
His Spirit in your inner being (Eph 3:16).
P.S. It’s amazing to see how God is working! For some time
I’ve been trying to come in contact with an old friend again
I haven’t heard of since Christmas. She has a little child
and her friend is a drug addict. Now the telephone number wasn’t
valid any more and I prayed for a way to find her, not knowing
Now last Sunday
this week’s worship leader asked me to sing with him. So
I had to be at VCC at 6 pm tonight. I quickly finished writing
my News and hurried to VCC, being a little late (what I really
hate!). On the steps of the underground, somebody stopped me.
I recognized him as the former boyfriend of my friend. He told
me he would meet her next week! So I immediately gave him my new
address and told him to give it to her, telling her to contact
me. Arriving at VCC, nobody was there. When the worship team fellowship
group started at 7:30, this week’s worship team leader told
met that he wasn’t this week’s worship team leader!
It was an error on his side. Aren’t God’s ways amazing?
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