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We don't want you in the dark, friends, about how hard it was when all this came down on us in Asia province. It was so bad we didn't think we were going to make it. We felt like we'd been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he's the God who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he'll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. You and your prayers are part of the rescue operation—I don't want you in the dark about that either. I can see your faces even now, lifted in praise for God's deliverance of us, a rescue in which your prayers played such a crucial part. (2.Cor 1:8-11, MESS)

The last five weeks have been incredibly intense, bringing us all to the breaking point, barely keeping our heads above the waters, and sometimes they would go under. It's been weeks of craziness, of question marks, of shock, of confusion, of darkness, of discouragement, and reaching the end of seeming dead end streets with nowhere to go. We've been hard-pressed on every side, from outside, from inside, from the left and right, and have struggled to stay alive and sane.

Broken car, guitar, computer, and other stuff, children in rebellion, team members in childish rebellion, interpersonal conflicts everywhere, barely keeping our daily operations going. The rising heat, unfinished house, and lack of money contributed their part.

Teenagers thinking about leaving, both team members considering leaving, and myself considering the options, but leaving was not one for me, but I couldn't find one at all.

OUTPOURING

In the midst of all this, the Lord poured out His Spirit on us in our weekly prayer/worship meeting on February 29th. It was the end of our three weeks of just worshipping God. Every night we had gathered for an hour, and our efforts to worship Him were often pretty pitiful. However, God measures in a different way.

That Friday night His new wine suddenly filled us, and all we could do was laugh in His presence, as He refreshed us in the midst of the battles. The battles continued on Saturday, but we gathered anyway to seek His face, and again His refreshing came down. The next battle arose that very night, and continued on all day Sunday, and again we gathered to worship, and He came down. Some of the kids started to open up and were touched as well.

I've been praying and crying out and paying the price for God to pour out His Spirit for years, and as I saw these first few drops, hope started to rise within me, and I sought His face even more, crying out for Him to come down. Monday night was the fourth night. Our village pastor had come to town, and was touched powerfully. He had also been in intense warfare the days before and was refreshed.

Day 5 (Tue) came around, and no one showed up to worship God. After an hour of worshipping Him by myself, Paul joined me. The next day no one showed up, and I was grieved at their lack of hunger for the Lord.

I've been desperate for more of God for months, and even years - really from the time I was saved. But I cannot give my hunger to anyone else. I will do whatever I have to do, and can only pray the others will get ruined for His presence as well. You need to taste Him once so that you'll never be satisfied with less again.

TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS

Now the trials and tribulations continue, and I'm just very tired. It was easier with His refreshing every night. I'm praying for wisdom more than for anything else, wisdom to lead these people and make right choices. I sure feel very inadequate, and in fact, the outpouring started after two intense days where I grieved over my lack of love and repented and asked Him to change me.

If you want to read details of this outpouring, and the trials going on, I encourage you to read my blog. Read the last few days leading up to February 29th when the oupouring started, and then the first few of March. If you'd like to receive the blog in your inbox every day, please email me and I put you on the list.

CAR UPDATE

We purchased our 2002 Toyota pick-up truck last year in July, and have been repairing it constantly. The mechanic even didn't understand why, and one time he saw a twisted part and said he had never seen anything like that all his life.

A few weeks ago - the day after a major repair - the car simply stopped running and wouldn't start up again. We took it to a new mechanic that had been recommended to us, who told us there was nothing that could be done. He didn't know why the engine was dead - there was no logical explanation for it.

Our only choice was to buy a new engine and put it in. Life was really hard without the car, as several kids needed to be taken to school and picked up four times a day, and Elisabeth brought to our property to cook. We spent much money on taxis, while they were working on the car.

Having no money whatsoever, the only thing I could do was take money for solar panels I was gonna pay and use it and make debts at the Austrian bank. Still it took about 10 days until we had our car back running, and it cost unbelievable $3000. Thank God we have it back and can get around again!

MINISTRY

First with the move, and then the lack of car, we've been unable to do any ministry to street children. We were gonna start again yesterday, but more unhappy circumstances made that impossible. We started going to the bus station to hand out food again on Friday.

With all the trials and tribulations, things are not going that well ministry-wise either. Our church is in pretty bad shape, and so is our team. However, the revival in the villages continue, and they giving us a loud Macedonian call to come again to heal the sick and preach the gospel.

Easter is approaching, and we are doing three nights of events. We're showing the MATTHEW Jesus film the first, the PASSION OF THE CHRIST the second, and have a big Easter service on Sunday.

I have never felt so weak to do anything, and yet that is when God's strength is made perfect. We totally depend on Him, since there is nothing I can do. I need His help with the smallest things, but I also know He loves that.

PRAYER & FINANCIAL PARTNERS

We are in dire need of both. With all the crazy things going on, we need people to hold us up in prayer. And financially we have hit the bottom - I'm not even talking about construction. We had to stop all work for lack of finances weeks ago. We still don't have a toilet, shower, running water, windows or fans in our house. But worse than that, we need funds for food, gas, and basic amenities. Where are those who could support us on a monthly basis? Still only a third our budget is covered every month.

QUICK NEWS

•        Child Sponsorships - All our kids have sponsors right now, praise God, I just want to remind you that we feed about 60 people nearly every day, and pay for 35 children to go to school. At Easter we'll be able to give out 7 bags of rice to widows or needy families, thanks to the German NGO CCARA.

•        Marriage - The Lord's been speaking to me about marriage, and I believe the time is approaching. So if you know anyone around my age (turning 35 soon) who is called to ministry in Africa, let me know :-).

•        Austria in April - I'm spending the month of April in Austria. I'm looking forward to flee the heat and be a blessing to my country. If you'd like to hear me share or preach, please check my itinerary on my CALENDAR page. I still have some openings to accept invitations as well.

•        Heidi Baker - I'm flying to Los Angeles for a few days in April to be with my spiritual Mom Jill Austin at her conference, and connect with Heidi Baker who is one of the speakers. I've felt an urgency for that connection, and believe it will make a difference in Mali. I'd like to go to Mozambique and see for myself how she manages things with thousands of orphans.

And he'll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. You and your prayers are part of the rescue operation. (2.Cor 1:10, MESS)

Claudia