Scripture, as well as the story of the prodigal son, have been going
round my mind over and over again since all this started.
writing with a broken mother's heart, because my beloved son has
left. I'm feeling such deep grief and have just been crying and
crying and crying. I would never have thought possible that this
day would come. All the other kids, but not him! Not the one with
the most maturity, the one who's had visions and dreams, the one
with the high calling, with an amazing heart of compassion, reaching
out to the less fortunate, not the one playing the djembé
with a passion, loving God and serving people
As he was packing
his stuff, it started to rain. He's leaving all the comforts of
his new life to go back to the bus station, to sleep in the wet,
the cold, surrounded by drug addicts and prostitutes, begging for
money daily to survive. We're not the only ones crying; heaven is
weeping too, and hard, with the rainy season being more or less
had many health issues, taking medication all the time since our
doctor started testing everyone. Sekouba is always in pain - his
eyes (he needs glasses - appointment was on the 12th) - and his
stomach and back. In fact he was supposed to have a gastroscopy
to identify the problem, in the meantime taking medication after
every meal. Please pray for his health.
to him this morning, and for the first time he spoke. Emma has a
pastor's heart, and since he doesn't live here, there is a certain
distance that can be positive. Emma came back tonight to continue
the conversation, and Sekouba told him the reason why he's leaving,
but not allowing him to tell the rest of us.
That was pretty
unsatisfactory. We were all sitting together to talk, but I still
didn't get answers to my questions. But he did end up giving the
reason for his leaving: it's my fault. He was blaming me for all
kinds of things. I asked his forgiveness, and he said he forgave,
but he was still leaving. He said he wasn't leaving Jesus, but wouldn't
reply to why he was fasting and begging and singing Muslim songs.
He wouldn't reply to any of my questions.
So finally we
gathered around him to pray for him, to bless him, and let him go.
One after the other prayed, kids and adults. Tears started running
down my face, my heart breaking. Like I've done every night, I gave
him my blessing as a mother, and spoke destiny into him. After we
were all done, Emma left, because it was too much for him. Sekouba
went to pack; he seemed unsure what he could take. I told him that
all the clothes were his. I gave him his Bible, and the mp3-player
that has part of the NT on it, as well as his recorded prophecy.
Then I printed out the picture below that we only took yesterday,
as a souvenir, writing on it that I love him (I was relieved he
took it). I also gave him money to help him out. And I kept telling
him that he could come back any time, because he's my son, and I'll
be praying for him and waiting for him. To my surprise, before he
left, he said to one of the others that he would be coming on Sundays.
I had mentioned earlier that as a Christian you need to be part
of a church and have fellowship with other Christians.
It gives me
hope to know he intends to come back, even if it's occasionally.
And I keep praying he will come to his right mind, that the light
of God would penetrate the darkness, the confusion, so that once
again he would return. I believe one reason the story of the prodigal
son just keeps ringing inside of me, because Sekouba will return.
It was so hard
to see him say good-bye to everyone and then walk away with his
two backpacks, towards the bus station. In fact, I couldn't watch
it and went to my room to just cry and cry before the Lord. After
an extended time of crying and grieving, I got myself back together
for the sake of my other kids, and went outside for a time of worship
OF PRAYER AND FASTING
I'm proud of
my kids because for the first time they've fasted two meals, both
lunch and dinner. Instead of eating we had an hour of worship, Bible
study and prayer each. During our evening get-together before bed,
the kids said they liked the day, and tomorrow they're gonna fast
again (since I proclaimed a 3-day-fast).
there was a hole on one hand, on the other hand there was a tangible
difference in the atmosphere. It felt freer, lighter than the last
week or two.
was already sleeping. He's really sleeping a lot. And I had to talk
to the other kids about the way they relate to him. Abdiel needs
a lot of patience, and love, and showing how to do things. Hygiene
is something totally foreign to him, and it repells the others.
He also tends to stay to himself, instead of playing with them.
I encouraged them to see Abdiel with the eyes of Jesus, and love
him the way Jesus loves him, being patient and not giving up, showing
him things, inviting him to play, and correcting him gently.
OF THE HEART
All this events
have shown me again the importance of praying for our kids for the
healing of their hearts, so that it won't ever come to an escalation
like today. We've failed with Sekouba, but let's not make that mistake
again. I really want to make an effort to make it to Ghana end of
November, to be properly trained in the approach I'm trying to use
to pray for them. As so often, it's the lack of money that is the
problem, since the flight between Bamako and Accra is very expensive
(800$). May the Lord make it possible!
Well, I'm exhausted
after two intense days, and a little more sleep than the regular
5 hours wouldn't hurt. I wonder where my son has found refuge from
the rain, but I do know that he has God as his refuge.
Living for HIM,
OUR SPONSORED KIDS
Saloum, Abdiel, Abdias, Fousseni, Sekouba
in the front: Sarata, Hama
in the back: Paul, Claudia, Firmin