Healing 2 The Nations International ~ Dr. Claudia R. Wintoch ~ Blog January 2010

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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Prophetic Conference

This has been a weird conference for me. There has not been one meeting where I did not fall asleep. Very frustrating. It hasn't helped that my hosts are working hard at the conference, staying late and having to be there early. When you're already that tired, that makes it even harder.

So I feel like I have gotten nothing out of the conference. Today I actually stayed home to rest and watched the two services online. I didn't think I'd be up to going skiing tomorrow otherwise. I hope I'm rested enough. Unfortunately we have to leave home at 6:30 am.

I've felt pretty lonely at this conference... of the network I've been part of for 5 years now. I felt like nobody really cares. And between meetings I had nowhere to go, and no one to spend the time with. Added to all that, I kept being reminded of my spiritual Mom Jill Austin who died a year ago. She was someone who cared and saw me the way God sees me; not many have that gift.

On Friday I was happy to meet Carolyn (picture) in person. I've been in email contact with her for the past 4+ years, but never met her. She was at the first Holy Given school in Mozambique where I had sent Simeon at the time. She's invited me to come visit her in Colorado, and now that I've met her and her pastor, I'm planning to go to Colorado Spring later this year.

On Saturday, I was one of the 300 people who would receive prophetic ministry in the prophecy rooms. I was not were upbeat, to say the least. They did not see my HIM pastor's name tag, and I received the most meaningless "prophecy" I've ever had.

I still had 2+ hours to kill before they would let the pastors inside the building. There was no afternoon session. I was sitting around wondering what to do, when I saw this guy who I wanted to talk to. I went near him and sat down to wait, when this lady came by. She had introduced herself to me the day before, as she's a writer for HIM, and gets my emails. She sat down next to me, noticing that I wasn't doing that great. We immediately connected in the spirit, and so I mentioned Jill and a few things, and she shared some things. She wanted to pray for me, but she actually had to leave, and then the guy I was waiting for also had to leave. Great.

The lady wanted to help me get inside the building so I could lie down on a couch, but even she couldn't get me inside for that. She had compassion on me, seeing how much I needed rest, which was sweet. I'm not used to anyone caring.

She walked away, and I sat down. Suddenly she came back and asked me to follow her. She had found her pastor and his wife, and said that her pastor's wife is very prophetic and willing to pray for me. So the three of us sat down in their car, and the two of them started praying and prophesying. It was precious. I really appreciated them. I left them when it was time to go inside the building - 45 minutes before the meeting for the pastors. The ladies had definitely been a God-sent. And I now have an invitation to Atlanta :-).

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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Much-Needed Morning

I slept 10 hours! YEAH! I can't even tell you how much I needed that! I did wake up early, but went back to sleep. And it was still early when I got up at 7:30 am local time. It was perfect.

My host made a wonderful breakfast, and then I went to work; I had a lot of office work to do and emails to write. I was also craving exercise. I had no way to get to a gym, and so I decided to run in the neighborhood.

I last had a chance to get some exercise last Friday - way too long ago. At 11:30 I finally left the house to go run. I was amazed at the sunshine and how warm it was - especially since it was very cold inside the house. I started running in the neighborhood and pushed myself more than ever before. It was wonderful!

By the way - I won the fitness challenge!!! I lost more weight than the other people who participated, and therefore am the winner in that category! PRAISE GOD! I'm excited! I received $1000 towards a stay at the fitness camp. Now I have to see when I could go there for a week later this year. It's only valid in 2010. I thought 7.4 pounds were very little for 6 weeks, but most people didn't even finish the challenge.

HIM/HRC Conference

After a light lunch we left home at 2:30 pm. The conference was to start in the evening, but there was a meeting for the HIM leaders and pastors in the afternoon. I was there a few minutes early, and greeted a few people that I know. Most people arrived late, though, and so I sat down and waited for the start of the meeting.

We started with a time of worship, and then the HIM director said a few words, before Che Ahn came up to speak to us. One of the HIM leaders also spoke after him. Then they were going to pray for everyone. Two of the leaders prayed for me.

I was in a strange place during the meeting. There was a disappointment to start with, and then I felt the loneliness of having no one who really cares about Mali. Coming to Pasadena always reminds me big time of Jill Austin, my spiritual Mom. I'd always see her here, and you think she's going to walk in any time. It made me think of that huge loss of losing her, which then makes me think of having lost my spiritual Dad also, which reminds me that I have no spiritual father or mother right now.

The prayer time didn't make any difference. I looked at my watch - there was half an hour left until they would let HIM pastors go inside the sanctuary early for the evening session. So I went to the nearby grocery store to find something to eat. Then I returned to the door to wait.

I got myself a good seat and then went back outside to make some phone calls. The tiredness started to get a hold of me again - jetlag. The meeting started at 7 pm... that's 10 pm at the East Coast. I was so tired I only closed my eyes and couldn't really enter in. During the preaching I also had my eyes closed most of the time. All I wanted was to sleep.

I was glad when I found my hosts after the meeting to go home. I was a little more awake after a little something to eat, which was sufficient to sit down and write the blog.

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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Saying Good-Bye To Harrisburg

I woke up for the last time in Harrisburg, after another too short night. Carol & Terri made one more wonderful breakfast - my favorite: bagels. Then I finished up packing, and at 9:30 am we left the house to go to the store and try to find some clothes that I desperately need.

I tried on lots of clothes, and ended up with 3 decent tops. We then stopped at Walmart for a few more necessities before returning home. We had half an hour to get everything ready to leave for the airport. I was still so very tired that it was hard. Terri was so kind to make some sandwiches for my long trip to California, while I got my stuff ready and Carol hers, since she had stayed with Terri these past few days.

We left at noon. It was sad that we had to say good-bye again. Carol and Terri are great friends; they want to come visit Mali again some time in the future. We parked at the airport, and they went inside with me. After check-in we went to the McDonald's to warm up and spend our last few minutes together. At security we finally had to say good-bye. Next time I see them might be at my wedding in June :-).

From East To West

My plane left on time at 2:30 pm to fly from Harrisburg, PA, to Atlanta, GA. It was a 2-hour ride in a small plane. This elderly man came to sit next to me, with his wife in the row in front of us. I offered for them to sit together, but they refused. I had already ntoiced the couple at the gate, as they enjoyed talking with other people. So I ended up talking with this 87-year-old man during the whole flight. I really enjoyed it.

He was a WWII veteran and Jewish. He was also an atheist. We talked about all kinds of things, including God. Obviously he didn't agree with me. He said he enjoys discussing it with me, though. He attends synagogue just for the discussions with his rabbi. I pray he'll find his Messiah before it's too late.

Arriving in Atlanta, I had little time to change planes; thankfully we had landed early, and it all worked out.

The plane from Atlanta to LA was much bigger - a 5-hour flight. Contrary to Continental, TV was free. Again contrary to Continental, we were not given any food at all, only peanuts. Good thing I had sandwiches with me.

After the first three hours of being fascinated with American reality TV, tiredness finally caught up with me, and I had no choice but to close my eyes. Unfortunately it was very cold on the plane, and I was freezing the whole time.

I dozed for two hours until arriving. I felt wiped out! I picked up my luggage, and my great hosts were already waiting for me. It was great catching up with them in the car on the way home. I was so tired I was going to go straight to bed - no turning on the computer!

At 9:15 pm I went to bed - after midnight in Harrisburg, after all.

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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Life Center

I woke up early again after about 7 hours of sleep. I knew I had a long day ahead of me - 12 hours from appointment to appointment. Unfortunately Terri had to work but Carol had the day off until 6 pm. She made me another great breakfast.

At 9:30 pm we left the house to drive to Life Center - their church. Their pastor Charles had thought it would be a good idea for me to meet with this lady who would pray for me. I'll take every prayer I can get! My appointment was at 10 pm, and the lady was already waiting for me. We went to a room together, and similar to last night, we both asked each other why we were there. So we just started talking. It didn't take long for the two of us to really connect. She then spent a little time blessing me and praying for me. It was a very precious 90 minutes.

It was 11:30, and I had wanted to see pastor Eric who had had to leave early Sunday night. I was glad he had a few minutes. Carol and I both went to his beautiful office. (The whole building is gorgeous!)

Now you have to know that Eric is very prophetic - to put it mildly. We sat down and somehow he started talking about marriage right away. He then started prophesying to me concerning my husband. Thankfully I have it all recorded. It was extremely profound! As he spoke, the anointing went to the core of my being, and by the end of the meeting that lasted a whole hour, I wasn't sure I could even stand up from the couch. I was totally blown away by everything Eric said. It was very encouraging and exciting! I'm not going to say more in this public forum. It would have been worth coming to Harrisburg just for that one hour.

Friend Time

My friend Cassandra had come for us to have lunch together, and she was so kind to wait for us during our time with Eric. I met Cassandra in Austria last year, and hadn't seen her since. The church here has a strong connection to Austria.

Cassandra works at Red Lobster, and so that is where we went for lunch. As someone who doesn't like seafood, I was shocked to see that the menu didn't have a single meal without seafood. I ended up eating a steak without the seafood that should have come with it.

The three of us had a wonderful time talking and catching up. Time just flew by, and at 2:30 we had to say good-bye.

American Orphanage

At 3 pm we arrived at the orphanage; I was full of questions and very curious to see what it was like. I was totally unprepared for what I found!

180 homes with a total of 1800 children, all on this huge property. Plus schools K-12, medical center, etc. I was amazed at how beautiful the home was that we visited. The house mother there is part of Life Center, and she and her family have been doing this for over 20 years. She always has around 10 boys living with her; they are between 4 and 12 years old.

When we first got there, the boys were still in school which gave us time for questions and to find out more. At 3:30 pm the boys came running in. Though most have a Mom somewhere, they call the house mother Mom. Just like any boys they ran up to her to show her stuff or tell her things about the day.

The lady introduced us to them, and then we showed them my 10 minute presentation. Some of the boys were very interested. Then a few of them gave us a tour of the house. I was blown away! It was amazing! When my boys see those pictures, they'll all want to go there! The boys were very nice as well. Unfortunately we already had to leave at 4:30 pm since Carol had to go to work.

New Friends

Carol drove me to the house of friends of hers who wanted to meet me. They lived in a beautiful area, and their house was just amazing. I immediately connected with the couple, and had a great time listening to them and talking to them. They haven't been married that long, and I got to hear the whole story how they met and finally married. It was very inspiring.

After some time of talking we left to go have dinner at a restaurant; of course Applebee's. I didn't eat my typical dish though.

We had such a great time talking that time just flew by. I had wanted to watch the Biggest Loser live for once, but I didn't care any more. The time with them was far too precious. It was 9 pm before I got home, and had to say good-bye to them.

I was totally wiped out, wondering how I'd do the packing and all the computer work waiting for me. Even the tea didn't seem to make much of a difference; the chocolate helped more. I got quite some stuff done, and have one more a night of too little sleep ahead of me since it's already after midnight. Tomorrow I'm flying all the way back to LA.

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Monday, January 25, 2010

Hershey's Chocolate World

Even though I could have slept in, I already woke up early, not really having slept enough. We got up and had a great breakfast together again.

I then did some office work, knowing we'd have to leave home at 11 am. Time went by so fast! We left a few minutes late, heading towards Hershey - chocolate town! I was looking forward to that visit.

We went straight to "Chocolate World". As an Austrian who's used to good chocolate, I can't say I'm a big fan of Hershey's chocolate ;-). I was still looking forward to this.

It wasn't a real factory we were visiting though, but it was a Hollywood-style ride. We sat down in those little carts and were moved along. We passed singing cows (videos on YouTube), and were shown the whole process of making Hershey's chocolate from the bean to the store. It was so cute, real fun!

At the end there was a store, of course, with all kinds of Hershey's chocolate. They let us taste a new chocolate that's only out for Valentine's Day - raspberry kisses. And they let us taste a new one that is with white chocolate. Pretty good actually!

I was amazed at all the stuff in the store there - a paradise for a rich chocaholic and Hershey's fan. I was amazed at the 3 pound chocolate heart. The sirup bottle is actually a piggy bank.

I had no intention of buying anything - it's not Milka or Lindt after all ;-)..... unfortunately I did find one of my favorite type of chocolates :-(.... chocolate-covered almonds. They're good!

Ice-skating

When my friend told me we could go ice-skating, I was excited. I haven't ice-skated in years! I was picturing a frozen lake surrounded by snow-covered woods... My bubble was burst real good! It was an inside ice rink. Oh well. No snow-covered landscapes.... I miss Austria, I guess.

I was still looking forward to it. The shoes we rented looked like they were 50 years old. 20 years ago I had more modern shoes like that! I couldn't even wear one of them, and thankfully the replacement worked.

Still, they were hurting, and I didn't feel like I had sufficient stability at least in one of them. Carol was joining me, while Terri decided to be the photographer.

I could tell I hadn't done this in a long time. However, even with the unstable shoes I got into it somewhat. We made a few little videos to show my boys what it's like. We went around a few times, but my feet started to hurt more and more. I knew I wouldn't be doing this for very long. I finally got out while Carol did a few more rounds.

Well, this had been shorter than expected, and so we still had time to hit a few clothes stores. I desperately need some clothes! We went to thrift-store type stores that were closeby, and unfortunately I was not lucky. We got some pyjamas and shirts for my boys though.

Being Set Up

Two very good friends and supporters in Kansas City know this pastor near Harrisburg and told me I HAD to meet him. So they set us up, and we made an appointment to meet tonight at his church that was 50 minutes away from where I was staying. My friend was so kind to drive me there.

We had gotten home at 4:30 pm which meant we had one hour for a nap. I was totally wiped out, and had struggled with being very tired all day. So I knew I had to lie down, and I slept that hour and could have gone on. When my alarm went off, I felt like a bus had run over me. I had a hard time moving and talking as I tried to "start up" again and function properly. We still managed to leave right after 6 pm.

We pulled into the church parking lot right on time at 7 pm. We went inside the church, and found the pastor and his assistant. My friend stayed in the lobby doing other stuff while I went inside to talk to them. One of the first things they asked was why I was there. I replied that I had no idea either since it had been my friends in Kansas City who said we needed to meet. It was a funny situation.

We talked for 90 minutes, and had a great time. I shared my story, and he shared about himself. I enjoyed listening and talking to him. At the end he asked if he could pray for me, and so they he took 2 minutes for a prayer.

He said I should contact him next time I come to the area, and invited me to stay with them. That was very sweet. Then he gave me and my friend a tour of the church. He shared more great stories with us. At 9 pm we said good-bye and drove the hour back to Harrisburg.

It had been a worthwhile meeting, and time will show what will come of it.

We got home at 10 pm, and I was so exhausted... still, I did a little more work on the computer until I had no choice than to go to bed.

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Sunday, January 24, 2010

Sunday Morning At Life Center

After 5.5 hours of sleep, it was hard to get up. I've only had 12+ hours of sleep these last three nights combined. It was 6:45 am, and I got up and ready for a wonderful breakfast -eggs, turkey bacon and whole wheat toast! It was awesome!

At 8 o'clock we left the house to drive to church. Carol is also staying with Terri these next few days so that we are together. When we got to church, we found my brochures that the church had been so kind to print out as well as my DVDs I had mailed there. We set everything up. Then we went inside to find our seats. We sat down close to the front. I saw Anne and greeted her, and then Charles also came by to say hello. Eric was also present. It was great to see all of them again. Charles, Eric, Terri and Carol came to Mali last November.

The first service started at 8:30 am. There was only a third or so of the number of people that were there for the second service. When I leave Mali, the first service at an American church usually is heavenly... worshiping Western style, and not having to lead or preach or anything... wonderful. During worship I noticed this pain in my heart - it was loneliness. In Mali I don't realize what I'm missing. When I come to the West, I do - friends, meaningful relationships, and people who care. I'm tired, and ready to pass on responsability to someone else... like a husband ;-).

After worship, announcements and offering, Charles introduced me, and I said a few words. Charles prayed for me before I returned to my seat.

During the preaching one story really stood out to me. Often I've felt like the widow who said she'd make some bread with what's left and then die. And in my case also God would intervene at the last second. Charles shared this story, but he also shared the story of the other widow who only had a little oil left, and then got as many jars as possible and miraculously filled them all up.

As he shared that story, I saw myself clearly as that little jar with very littly oil in it. I had to think of all the other Biblical pictures, of us being the jar with the precious content, His Spirit. I saw this simple, plain clay jar, with the precious oil in it. So little that it could not possibly make a difference. But as the oil flowed out, it would not get empty, but keep flowing, stunning people, surprising people, making a difference it could not possibly have done. It's the perfect picture of who I am! I have so little, and yet God multiplies it. I have nothing to offer, and yet there is so much fruit in Mali. God uses me IN SPITE OF who I am, causing so much fruit I have nothing to do with - after all I am only the jar, HE is the oil.

After the first service, I went to the book table in the back where we had set up my stuff, and we talked to quite a few people. I was surprised at how many signed up to get my email newsletters, and had some good conversations. Several were interested in coming to the meeting tonight.

At 10:45 am the second service started. Worship was a little longer and more intense. I was longing for some intimate worship, but today was praise time. While praising God, I had such a vivid image of myself as this jar, tilted as the Father holds me in His hands pouring out the oil. I had the strong desire to pain what I was seeing! I wished I had time for painting... It was such a beautiful picture!

I also felt that same pain of loneliness I had felt during the first worship time, but as I looked more closely, Jesus was right there in the pain and I had to smile. I was not alone; Jesus knows exactly how I feel. It was very comforting.

Again I got a chance to come up and share for a few minutes; I was thankful for the opportunity.

Then Charles preached the same sermon again. During worship I had already become very tired, and during Charles's preaching I was unable to keep my eyes open, but I heard every word he was saying.

After the service was over, we went back to the book table again and talked to many people who came by to sign up for the emails, take a folder and DVD. At 1:30 pm we left to go to lunch.

I was happy when they agreed to my suggestion to go to Applebee's - my favorite (affordable) restaurant. I was looking forward to getting to talk to Anne and Charles. The five of us had a great time talking and eating awesome food. All four of them are such amazing people... The time we spent was very precious to me. There were a few moments of hearty laughter for myself... it felt so good since I never get to laugh like that in Mali.

It was sad when I had to say good-bye to Charles and Anne again. Who knows when I'll see them again.

Meeting With Claudia

We got back into the car and returned home. It was 4:10 pm, and we would have to leave again at 6 pm. I wanted a nap, but even more I wanted to write the blog about this morning before other great experiences would make me forget details. And so there was no time left for a nap.

At 6 pm we left to drive the half hour to the Londonderry Inn where the meeting would take place. A couple from the church purchased this historic building, and uses it for ministry. As I was just sitting in the car, the tiredness hit me, and I closed my eyes during the ride - that alone helped.

We arrived at the beautiful place, and set up my stuff. The primary thing was the DVD with my presentation. For some reason the TV/DVD player settings did not allow for my DVD to play. They said they'd had that problem before. We tried everything but to no avail. Finally they put up a projector and a screen, and thankfully I had brought my computer as a backup.

People started arriving, and grabbing some snacks, as they sat down at the beautiful long table. Just the right number to fit into the room showed up; including Eric, one of the pastors, who had come to Mali last November. There was also a young lady and a young man who came to lead worship with the guitar and violine. I knelt down on the floor, and his sweet presence was there to meet me.

While they were still playing, I got back up and prayed a sweet prayer to my gorgeous Lover and wonderful Father. Then I started sharing my life story, from the beginning until the moment I went to Mali. I was surprised myself into how much detail I went, but people really appreciated it; I guess some of them had to hear it.

I then showed my presentation, and then gave a short update and opened it up for questions. I love answering questions! When I was done, Terri said a few words and took an offering. That was sweet! By the time we finished it was 9 pm. I was very sad to see that Eric had left.

They all wanted to still pray for me - yeah! I stood in the middle of the other room, and they surrounded me as they started praying. One lady danced - I was told, as I never saw her. For 45 minutes people took turns praying for me. It was a precious time!

Then it was time to say good-bye to people, and I still got a tour of the beautiful house. The tiredness started coming back. It felt like in the middle of the night! (which it was in Mali). It was 10:30 pm before we left to drive back home. I was thankful for being able to close my eyes in the car, and was ready to fall asleep.

We stopped at Walmart on the way home since I needed to pick up some necessities. Yeah, my first supermarket!!! Back home we had some food, and then I decided to go straight to bed. It was a quarter past midnight.

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Saturday, January 23, 2010

Long Trip To Harrisburg

Last night I actually fell asleep while watching stuff on my computer. I woke up at 10 pm and went to bed. Due to jetlag, I woke up at 3:30 am and was wide awake, so I decided to get up. I made good use of my time until breakfast started at 6:30 am.

I enjoyed the food, and went back to my room to get ready and pack. At 8 am the shuttle arrived to take me and two other people to the airport.

I got to the elite Continental check-in and started the process on the machine. When it came to adding the frequent flyer number, it did the same it had done when I had tried to check in online. I couldn't find Air France in the list. So I asked this guy who was there, and he told me that Continental is no longer in the Skyteam group, but is now with Star Alliance. WHAT? They switched 3 months ago. Unfortunately no one told me that. I was VERY annoyed. I was flying all those miles, and now I wouldn't get any credit for them... plus I had to pay $25 for checking in my suitcase. VERY annoying!

I was upset. Security was a breeze - nothing's changed there - and then I went to my gate. I still had some time until boarding. When the moment came, I was one of the last people to get on since they boarded according to rows. Since I have no elite status with Star Alliance, I couldn't get on early. I was lucky I still found a spot for my carry-on in the overhead bin. At least they had individual TVs for every seat - for a price. Since it was a 5-hour flight to Newark, NJ, and I had nothing to read....

Thanks to the TV, time was going by faster, though it still seemed like a very long flight. I was glad when we arrived; and I was glad we got a little meal.

But that meal had been hours early, and I still had a few hours ahead of me before arriving in Harrisburg, and so I walked around the airport trying to find something decent to eat. All the restaurant names were unknown to me. The prices were high, and I hesitated, but I finally I did buy some little sandwich.

I settled at my gate, and made some phone calls. I was telling my friend on the phone how awake I was and had been all day, and how surprised I was about that. Just a few minutes later - at 8 pm local time - I crashed. The tiredness hit me hard, and I could not help but sleep somewhat for the remaining 40 minutes until boarding.

It was a tiny plane that took us to Harrisburg - a 40 minute flight. I had a window seat, and crashed right away. I didn't even see the take-off, though I looked out later to see some of New York. It was just lights.

We didn't even get anything to drink on this short flight. Just after 10 pm we landed in Harrisburg, PA. I was very tired. We got off the plane and walked through the empty airport to baggage claim. As I came down the escalator, I could already see my friends Terri and Carol who had visited us in Mali last November. It was great to see them again. Together we waited for my luggage, and then we found our way to Terri's car. We had a great time talking, and the tiredness lessened. We arrived at Terri's place, and got settled in. Terri showed me the room I was staying in. We were talking along, and time was going by fast, as it was getting later and later. I still wanted to write this blog and check emails, and so it's 1 am now. I have to get up in 6 hours at the latest for a LONG but wonderful day ahead. So off to bed I go!

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Friday, January 22, 2010

Nightmare Security

As always I left the lounge at a time that would allow me to get to the gate just before boarding starts. Little did I know!

As I approached the gate, there was this long line of people. I went to the front of the line and quickly realized that all the gates behind that barrier had planes leaving for the US. It was an additional security barrier. Oh great! Unfortunately a plane to Atlanta was leaving exactly at the same time as us, and other US-bound planes around the same time. That explained the long line. All I could do was line up at the end of it.

The gate was right behind the check point and I could see the boarding start. Half an hour before scheduled take-off time I got nervous. The line was moving extremely slowly. For once there was no extra line for frequent flyers - at least not from the back. Once I got to the front of the line to have my passport checked (again), there were two new lines for all the carry-on luggage to be checked by hand - one short for frequent flyers, the other long for the rest of people. Though I'm platinum, they wouldn't let me line up at the end of the short line. That was annoying. At least, by that time I realized there were still a lot of other passengers for my plane in line with me, and that the plane would wait for us all.

Still, I ended up waiting in line for an hour and 20 minutes - that's a long time. And then they would let a lot of people on the plane without their carry-ons being checked - doubtlessly to speed up things. But I was still in the long line.

Finally it was my turn; I ended up with an African-French lady who went through my stuff. When she saw my Bible, she lit up, and started asking me what I do and calling me sister. She was really nice to me.

That done, it was still not over. Now I was still to be patted down all over. In Bamako they had done that too. The lady in Paris was nearly apologetic about it.

I was glad when that was done and I FINALLY got to get on the plane. By then, most people were already seated. I'm used to being one of the first on the plane, and now I had the same problem I had seen many late-comers have in the past... all the overhead bins were full. I was annoyed. Plus an old guy was sitting in my seat.

The flight attendant put my bag in the bin in business class, since I was sitting in the first row in economy anyway. Which is another thing I hate! No window, and now first row! I did not have a seat in front of me to put my purse under (sigh). At least the man moved out of my seat.

When I saw later that the guy was sitting in the second row right behind me, without someone next to him (I didn't have a neighbor either), I actually asked him if he preferred to sit in the first row and he said yes. And so I switched seats with him. He was so happy! Yeah!

I had 12 hours of flight ahead of me. That's a long time. We were served a good meal in the beginning, and a little one at the end. They had sandwiches and ice-cream in the middle, and for once I did not come too late to get some ice-cream. It was so good!

I watched a few movies, but there was nothing that was exceptionally good. I was glad when the time of arrival approached.

I was having a lot of problems with my left contact lense. I actually ended up taking it out for a few hours. Unfortunately that didn't make much of a difference. My eye was red, and I had a lot of problems with the lense all the way through immigration and the ride to the hotel until I could get it out at the hotel.

Getting off the plane, I lined up at immigration. It was pretty slow-going, but nothing had changed there - same process as always. My heart-beat always goes up when I approach the officer. To my amazement, this one had the least number of questions I've been asked in years. Length of visit, and purpose. That was it! I was amazed. It was a quick process.

I picked up my luggage, went through customs, and was outside. Now it was time to find my shuttle to the hotel. I had to walk a little bit. I waited for a while, and when a bus with the name of my hotel chain pulled up, asked if he was going to my hotel. He said I had to call the hotel for them to come. Great!

I called them, and 10 minutes later their van pulled up. I was the only passenger. It was raining, and I was looking forward to arriving at the hotel. I checked in and went to my room. It was nice.

I had seen a McDonald's near the hotel, and intended to go there right away to pick up a salad for dinner. I knew I'd better go right away. As I left the hotel, I noticed it was raining harder. Oh well, it's just some water!

I got to McDonald's and ordered my salad; unfortunately it was only at the hotel that I noticed they hadn't given me the dressing I had asked for. Annoying.

Leaving the McDonald's, it was really pouring down. The amazing thing was that the sun was shining at the same time! I walked back to the hotel in the rain.

Back in my room, I knew I needed to go to the fitness room right away, before settling down comfortably in my room. So I got changed and went there. I turned on the TV, and got on the treadmill. My poor body... it was going on 1 am for my body clock! Not a time I'm usually on the treadmill. Still, I had a great time running.

Back in my room, I prepared a wonderful hot bath. It's been so many months since my last bath! (but not shower ;-)) I went into the water with my salad and GOD-TV turned way up to hear it in the bathroom. It was heavenly! All the Sahara sand just melted off!

Then I crawled into my bed with my computer, writing and reading, and working hard on staying awake until a normal US time to go to bed. Hopefully I can sleep well and long enough. I need to get over the jetlag quickly in light of my busy schedule ahead.

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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Leaving Mali

It's been a good last day that wasn't too busy. I noticed that I was less keen on traveling than I usually am, though it's always hard for me to leave - and to return; just the transition period. Jus thinking of how tight my schedule is on this trip made me even more tired, and less excited to go... I'm going to a new city on this trip - Nashville, TN - and a friend there is setting up all kinds of meetings which is wonderful. I'm looking forward to meeting many new people. For the longest time she couldn't find a place to stay, and I thought I'd have to stay in a hotel, but now she has an elderly couple who'd have me in their house. However, I feel like I should stay in the hotel... so I don't really know what to do now, but have to decide in the next few days if I want to get the good rate. Any input is welcome.

Since I didn't have to leave home until 9 pm, I was able to do our nightly family meeting at 8 pm. I like that all our resident adults attend now too since the arrival of the next driver (my initiative). It's such a joy to see Abdias there again as well! He proudly showed me what he had sown in school - yes, they learn that now.

After doing our usual stuff, I shared with them about the long trip I had ahead of me. Then everyone surrounded me and prayed for me. Then I prayed for them. We hugged each other to say good-night, and then I went to get ready to leave for the airport.

It was 9:15 pm when Paul, Philippe and I left. It wasn't easy. I took advantage of the few moments to talk to Paul in the car, and before I knew it we were at the airport, I got out, and said good-bye. I have to say, I'm so happy with the new driver, and have so much peace about him being there.... I wouldn't have wanted to leave our previous driver behind and travel!

The good-byes were very quick as the police is very particular about cars moving on right away. I went inside the terminal, and found that construction is moving along well; they are modernizing the airport. And so I checked in in a new building.

I wasn't happy that I had not gotten the seats I wanted - window - for both flights, all the way to LA. But oh well. I went through the passport check and to the frequent flyer lounge where I had half an hour, before leaving there. I didn't know my flight was delayed.

I went through security and to the only gate where I sat down and had to wait another 30+ minutes before boarding started. I was glad when I finally sat in my seat - though it was right next to the toilet. At least I had no one sitting beside me, and could sit by the window after all.

We left Bamako with a half-hour delay; I enjoyed reading the TIME magazine I found on the plane. And I always love that first plane meal! I finished watching a movie I had started the last time I flew, and watched another one. Then I tried to lie down on the two seats and get some sleep. For an hour and a half I dozed, turning around whenever it would hurt too much. At 4 am Malian time they woke us up - we had one hour left to fly. We arrived in Paris only being 10 minutes late. Since I had more than 4 hours, I didn't really care.

I made my way through the maze of Paris airport, went through security (nothing's changed there), and ended up in the frequent flyer lounge where I had 3 hours. I enjoyed free internet - finally high speed, able to watch videos online!!

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Driver Philippe

Philippe has now completed his third day with us, and I'm very happy with him. I think I have never been this happy with any driver before (except for the first one - Seybou - of course). And he also enjoys being with us, he said. He is a gentle guy who loves the Lord, and has known Jesus for quite some time. You can tell by his behavior. Though he only has 3 years of schooling - as an adult - he loves learning and dropped out because he had to, not because he wanted to. I hope he'll be able to do our Bible School.

Philippe also drives well, and is honest and reliable. This picture shows him washing the second car together with two of our older boys. He's also taking initiative in doing good things... I love it! Thank you, Lord!

Fanta is helping me a little in my household, since we have two other ladies helping with cooking. A few months ago she injured her finger to the point she nearly lost it but it's still not totally healed. She uses a glove to do laundry and dishes. In this picture she's cutting up the ingredients for my mixed salad in my kitchen.

Abdias Returns

Paul told me two days ago that Abdias wants to return to our household. Wonderful! Today we sat down to talk to him, and agree on steps for his reintegration.

When he walked into my living room, I couldn't help it but had to take my little lost sheep that returned into my arms. I had missed him, and was so happy he was back! I held him for some time before I released him so he could sit down.

He said he left because life on the street was appealing to him, and he hated school, and so he enjoyed his few weeks on the street. I know from Paul that our ladies who cook talked to him, trying to reason with him. I'm sure that was a big influence. He said he wants to come back because the street is not safe, and he has no future there. And he wants to return to school.

Even before he returned to the street, we had made an agreement because of his bad behavior in school that would have gotten him kicked out had he not been one of our children. He returns to school tomorrow, and has one month to improve his behavior in school. If not, we'll take him out of school and he can do an apprenticeship somewhere. He said he'd rather go to school. We'll see.

During that one month probation period he'll be sleeping with the street children in the dining hall and is not allowed into the main house. He asked forgiveness for his lack of respect and disobedience, and those weeks will show whether he was serious. If everything works out fine, he can move back into the house after that month.

At the end of our conversation I prayed for Abdias, and then I took him into my arms a second time. I think he was relieved as well about how things turned out. I was so happy to have him back, and so was Paul.

I joyfully made the announcement at our family meeting, with him present. Philippe didn't even know him yet!

Then I returned to my preparations for my next trip tomorrow night. It's been a busy day of getting everything ready.

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Sunday, January 17, 2010

Play Time

I'm so happy to see my kids spend so much time playing with duplo (the younger ones) and lego (the older ones). My first few kids that I took in were older, and they could not find any access to games on the whole. For these younger ones it's not too late yet to learn creativity - praise God! Something that on the whole does not exist in Mali.

It was my little ones that were so proud of the house they have constructed that they insisted I'd take a picture. They used up all the pieces there are. I need to bring back more from my next trip :-).

Last night and tonight, we all sat down to watch the DVDs the American team recorded in November - at least the first few. Everyone was so happy to see Charles, Eric, Bintou (Carol), and Terri on there. Especially Bakary (6) had attached himself to Charles, and was happy to see him. I told them that just in one week's time I would see them all again. Yeah!

Helping Widows

Thanks to the German NGO CCARA, we have a few extra sacks of rice to give away to widows. This lady in the picture has been helped several times like that, and was happy to be blessed again. However, with tears in her eyes, she told us how she was cheated and as a consequences will be kicked out of her house shortly. I'm not sure how many kids she has.

I couldn't let go of what I had heard, and kept thinking of what we could possibly do. On one hand she has not been receptive to the gospel, on the other hand she said today that she doesn't understand how Muslims can do something like that, and Paul prayed with her.

And so I had an idea... our nightguard and his family were supposed to move in with us so that Augustin and his family can move into their house which is just around the corner. My idea is for them to still move in with us, and have that widow and her kids stay at their house. Since the lady is a tailor, we could have her work for us in that capacity, and in return we provide tuition for her kids and food. Paul is going to talk to our nightguard to find out whether he would be okay with that.

Change of Drivers

This morning, after having dropped off the street kids at the bus station, Augustin came to pick up his money and return his keys. He seemed very sad, and didn't even look at me, or say anything. I felt for him, and told him I wished him all the best.

At the same time I was glad he was gone, and that he had not done anything stupid to retaliate. Now all I had to do was to wait for the new driver's arrival.

He arrived late afternoon, and Paul helped him get settled. The kids wanted to watch the rest of the DVDs the Americans had recorded, and I thought it would be a great opportunity for Philippe to find out more about us, watching our 5th anniversary celebration.

And so we all crammed into my living room to watch, and had a great time. At 8 pm we stopped, as it was time for the family meeting. We all went to the living room on the boys' side.

And for once everyone was present, including Fanta. During the week, my three older boys are at evening school, and so they miss the family meeting unfortunately.

I officially welcomed Philippe into the family, and we went through our routine stuff. I also explained a few things to Philippe. As always, I finished by praying and putting my hand on every child's head. It was a good family meeting, and I was very happy with my first impression with Philippe. I thank God that He sent him, and can only hope I'll continue to do so. Tomorrow he'll have a learning day as Paul shows him where to go and how to do everything.

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Friday, January 15, 2010

Informing Augustin

I did not have a good day today - I think primarily because I was thinking of Augustin all day long, and having to tell him tonight that he was fired. That's not something pleasant to do. Still, it seemed that even since the decision was made, its rightness kept being confirmed. I knew it was the right thing to do; but that didn't make it any easier.

I wanted to make sure the kids could complete their week at school, and so I told Paul we would tell him after he'd return from his last run at 7:30 pm. That way, if he chose to leave immediately, at least the kids would not miss school.

As the time approached, I focused more and more on it, trying to find the right wording to tell him. Finally I jumped on the treadmill, and had a good run. That really helped. I have now completed 5 of the 6 weeks of the fitness/weight-loss challenge, and am amazed at how fit I have become! I've never been able to run like that before in all my life, and haven't been at this weight for the past 20 years!

In any case, as soon as Augustin arrived, I asked him and Paul into my living room. I decided to come straight to the point, and told him that Sunday would be his last day. He was shocked. He wanted to know why. I was surprised by that question, and mentioned a few of the things he had done - the worst being when the two were at each other's throats. Augustin had said some terrible lies about Paul, and now he started to repeat them again, claiming he said the truth, and Paul was the lier and deceiver. I told Augustin I knew Paul very well, and that I was willing to even die for him, so there was nothing he could tell me about him like that that I would believe. Then Paul said he had actually recorded their conversation in the car with his cellphone, when Augustin tried to entice Paul to steal money from me while I'm in the US. Smart Paul!

Augustin was stunned in any case that he was fired - it came out of the blue for him. I was concerned about possible repercussions if he thinks he has nothing to lose, and told him if there are no incidents between today and Sunday, I'll be generous with him money-wise. He left without another word. At the family meeting tonight I told everyone to be vigilant and watch out until Sunday. I was surprised that most of the kids were indifferent about him leaving.

The greatest shock for me was that that conversation in the car had happened two days ago, and Paul never told me about it. I have told Paul a MILLION times to tell me when something serious happens, when he finds out something serious about any team member or kid, and again he didn't do it. That really shocked me profoundly. After the last incident like that, I though Paul had understood....

Needless to say, today was not a very pleasant day.

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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Driver Update

Nearly another week has passed. In total we had 4 people show up for an interview to be our new driver. I was amazed about the quality of people God sent us this time, compared to last time when they didn't even know how to drive. I guess it's the right time for a new driver.

Our favorite candidate - the one I told you about last time - unfortunately decided not to work for us. Among the 3 remaining ones one was out of the question for us, and it was easy to choose between the remaining two.

Philippe is single, has been a Christian for a long time, and active in the evangelism department of his church. He has a call to evangelism, and is hungry to grow in his faith and calling. That's one reason he wants to work for us - a great reason. We called his former pastor and a former employer, who gave him great references. He is moving in on Sunday, and will become a full member of our family and church. I'm excited.

I'm still dreading telling Augustin; we're planning to do so tomorrow, and are asking for your prayers. Augustin doesn't even know we were looking for a new driver. I'll be glad when he's not here any more, in all honesty. I'm thankful for the prophetic input I got from one of my friends that helped me make that decision more easily.

Update On Abdias

Abdias is only spending half the nights here. Paul talked to him more the other day. He admitted that he hated school, and that he loved being on the street. Paul says it's obvious how much he enjoys life on the streets. It still saddens me every time I see him, and so I avoid him. Please keep praying for him.

US Trip Update

Well, for the longest time I was wondering where to go my first leg of the trip as my plans had fallen through. Finally, I decided to go to Harrisburg. It wasn't an easy decision money-wise, but I'm very excited to go there now. I'm looking forward to seeing friends there again, and being at Life Center (Charles Stock's church). There's also the prospect of going ice-skating, and visiting Hershey.

Besides the extra-money, I'm really not going there the smartest way at all. I'm arriving in LA Friday afternoon - since I was going to stay in California until the beginning of the HIM conference. But now, I'll spending one night at a hotel at LAX, and then take a plane to Harrisburg (PA!) Saturday morning to arrive there late night.... and then a busy Sunday, with jetlag... I'm getting more tired just thinking of this trip - all three cities will be busy. But I also need it very much right now.

Paul had a dream that this trip would be very significant. May it be so!

Right now we have to pay the next installment of tuition in three different schools - a total of $1600 we don't have. Your prayers are appreciated!

Fanta's Birthday

Today is Fanta's birthday - actually, her spiritual birthday as she does not know when she was born, not even the year. We chose this date, and decided the year, so she turned 24 today.

I baked a cake, and we all sang for her. She had to try blowing several times before the candles went out. It was great to see her smile so much. The kids had made drawings for her. I bought her some very nice fabric for beautiful clothes. She was happy.

Birthday parties are very short here. And we had our weekly prayer meeting right after today.

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Friday, January 8, 2010

Amazing Driver Candidate

It was quite a surprise to me when Paul told me at 4:30 pm that the guy who had called him yesterday to come for an interview to become our new driver had actually come and was here!

So the three of us sat down, and the longer we talked the more I was impressed and amazed! He sounded like a God-sent, straight from our heavenly Father! Both Paul and I could see what a blessing this guy and his family would be.

Samuel is married and has five kids, and is in his forties. He worked for 11 years as a driver for a well-known mission until they dissolved that particular project. So he's had his driver's license for a long time, and he can also drive trucks and busses, and commercial vehicles, as he drove public transportation in Bamako for a while. Great!

Not only that, he's very faithful and active in his Baptist church, and so is his wife. His wife leads a women's ministry there. She also knows how to make soap, and sells soap for the church to make some money. What great skills - both - that would help our little struggling church!

Finally a man of integrity, mature Christian, and experienced driver, and with a wife with skills. He liked what he saw and heard and said he'd talk it over with his wife and pray and let us know.

Both Paul and I started talking excitedly about what they would bring to our community. Was he God's choice we've been waiting for? I want to be cautious too....

Please pray with us for wisdom and for God's will to be done. Samuel said he'd let us know about their decision soon.

Augustin started complaining more today, and is making remarks that make me think he doesn't want to work for us any more. So all this might get resolved peacefully, and with a transition without days without a driver, which would be difficult.

Please pray that all this gets resolved quickly, before I travel in two weeks.

By the way, the Canadian girl is not coming. I'm looking forward to the Austrian girl coming in February, though.

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Thursday, January 7, 2010

Driver Augustin & Paul

In the morning Augustin showed up at my door angry, telling me he needed to talk to Paul. I asked him why he was telling ME that.

When Paul returned, I told him Augustin wanted to talk to him. It didn't take long before I heard loud shouting all the way to my office. Concerned I went outside and found Augustin and Paul shouting at each other, and the kids standing around with gaping mouths watching.

I tried to calm them and asked what was going on. Augustin started talking, but didn't even make sense to me, as he kept insulting Paul. I told him to just give me the facts. Paul interrupted him several times accusing him of lying about him, and threatening him. It was bad. I still didn't get what the problem really was.

Paul even wanted to attack Augustin physically, and I had to go in between. I tried to appeal to their reason, and to them being Christians, but to no avail. I finally figured out more or less what the problem was. I still tried to keep them apart, and kept asking Paul to keep his mouth shut and just go to his room. But he wouldn't. Even his step-mother Elisabeth who cooks for us at noon tried to calm him down. It took the longest time before they finally each went their separate ways.

I was somewhat rattled, but had kept my peace throughout the incident. I was shocked at what I heard from Augustin's mouth, and after some other incidents in the past, I knew it was time to look for a new driver once again.

I sent out an email to the missionary community and to the denominations, and literally within minutes I had the first email telling me about a driver who's looking for a job. Not long after that another email came, and that person even called Paul who didn't know yet I had sent the email.

Paul called the police and made an appointment to talk to them tomorrow. Then he came to talk to me, and wanted to give me a message to pass on to Augustin, still full of anger, but I interrupted him, and he finally listened. I tried to show him what was going on, and gave him advice on how to handle this situation. Then he walked away.

Later in the day I talked to him again, and suggested a TPM session to him. He knew he needed it, but wasn't very keen on doing it. He was in very bad shape though, and so he finally conceeded and sat down with me. It took 40 minutes before he was healed and full of joy and peace, and love and forgiveness for Augustin. What an amazing turnaround! The police appointment was canceled.

I was very relieved about that outcome. Now I knew Paul would be able to run the errands tomorrow together with Augustin in the car.

Please pray for the right new driver!

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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Abdias Chooses Streets

My heart is heavy as I inform you that Abdias has chosen to live on the streets rather than go to school and submit to the house rules.

Abdias (16) was part of the original three children who moved into the house with me in June 2005. Of all our kids he's always been the biggest trouble maker, and has been able to get away with more stuff than anybody else. Other kids would have been kicked out a long time ago already, but we kept giving him another chance and another chance and another...

A year ago my four oldest kids (including Abdias) did something very serious - the culimnation of their actions - and all four had to leave our house. Fousseni and Saloum returned to their parents' house, which was good for them. Souleymane convinced us to give him another chance, and Abdias had nowhere to go so he stayed.

While Souleymane changed, Abdias continued doing bad things thinking he could not be kicked out anyway. These past few weeks - especially during the holiday with no school and lots of time - his behavior deteriorated. Lying, stealing, destroying stuff, constant disobedience,.... Finally, I removed him from the house and let him sleep with the street children in the dining hall. He was not allowed to go into our house - primarily since he had been taking stuff. I was hoping that some time sleeping with the street children would be therapeutic. I was wrong.

Even being out there, he continued disobeying and doing bad stuff. He kept asking to leave the property, and I told him no, he was grounded. When he asked me again one morning I told him, if you leave the property, you won't be returning to the house. He acted the way he had been... not believing my words, or not caring at all, and left the property.

From then on, he left the property every morning with the street children, to return at night - and was happy. He finally had the freedom he wanted! Doing whatever he wants, going wherever he wants! I wasn't surprised. Paul took it pretty hard.

The first day of school after the Christmas holiday was approaching. Paul and I discussed what to do with Abdias. In December we had already talked to Abdias regarding school. The school director told us how bad Abdias's behavior was and that he would already have been evicted if he hadn't been one of the kids from our center. We gave Abdias a one-month ultimatum to improve his behavior in school - or be taken out and start an apprenticeship somewhere. It was also late November that Abdias was picked out of a crowd by a visiting prophet and received a serious word to leave the evil acts behind and draw close to the Lord. He did not heed anything.

Softening my stance, I told Paul that Abdias could go back to school and keep staying out with the street kids, but stay on the property during the day. So basically being a resident kid, just not sleeping inside the house. We would then evaluate as originally planned what the school would tell us end of January concerning his behavior.

Paul told Abdias who told him he had not done his homework during the holiday and would not go to school on Monday. Paul was hoping he would go on Tuesday.

This morning Abdias took off early with the street kids, before anyone could make him go to school. He has made his choice. He loves the "freedom" of the streets, doing what He wants, and he STILL gets food and a place to stay - without any responsibilities. Sounds like the perfect life, right?

I talked with Paul this morning. When he told me, my heart grew very heavy. We've gone through so much with Abdias, and love him dearly. Paul is very effected by this. I told Paul that everything would work out for good. God will not let go of Abdias, and Abdias will eventually come around. I'm sure of it. We have to let him make his own choices, also the bad ones, and trust that the day will come when he comes to his senses and returns. I know Abdias is in God's hands - and I hope that Paul can find peace as well.

The one thing that troubles me is that Abdias is an abuser, and it pains me to think of the victims he'll now be able to get his hands on... Have mercy, Lord, and protect those little boys and girls!

The Rest of the Day

I'm amazed how this day is ending with so much peace and love for my kids in my heart. I wrote the above early in the morning.

In the afternoon Paul and I had to go meet with our lawyer once again. The church papers were rejected the third time we filed them, returned with a list of things they want us to change. So we spent two hours with the lawyer going over the list and making the asked for changes. Hopefully the fourth time they'll go through.

Back home I just felt like wanting to spend time with my children. So I sat outside with them for a while, and the little ones constantly said, "Hawa, look!" and then they jumped down the stairs or did something else they were proud of and wanted me to praise them for; and praise them I did! I loved it!

Then several of the little kids came with tiny injuries, and I treated them. Then the middle-aged kids asked to play some video games with me, and I said okay. So we played the different games from Wii Fit Plus. All three kids from our nightguard were there too - that was a first. The nightguard and his family will be moving in with us soon, when Augustin's family comes up; probably in February.

I wanted to restart the literacy class after the Christmas break, but very few street kids showed up tonight. A whole group of them - including Abdias - is spending the night elsewhere. Sometimes they do that when special events are happening somewhere. I can't help but wonder where Abdias is tonight.

Our family meeting was special tonight as well. I asked them what they thought about Abdias leaving. One of the older ones had questions, and so I told the whole story how it came about. He said he can see that it has nothing to do with us adults.

THen I told them the pocket money system is changing. I'd been thinking about this for a while. I told them that from now on they get 25 CFA for every chore done, every good deed. Up until now they had a set amount of 400, and I would take off 25 for NOT having done their chores. Hopefully the new system will motivate them more.

Paul and I are also in agreement that things are not working out well with the two older kids we took in who go to evening school. They are supposed to keep the property clean during the day and be like day guards, opening and closing the gates, but they are not doing ANYTHING. We really don't know what to do about that, as we've kept repeating ourselves over and over. I don't really want to kick one or both of them out.... any suggestions?

As always, I prayed for each child at the end of the family meeting, and then hugged them each. Sometimes we're just having fun as they try to get away from my hug, but finally let themselves be caught. I told them how much I loved them. And I certainly do!