Healing 2 The Nations International ~ Dr. Claudia R. Wintoch ~ Blog January 2009

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Saturday, January 31, 2009

Meeting Charles Stock

We had to leave the house at 8 o'clock. That was tough, since I had gone to bed too late once again. That's just the way it is with conferences!

My host Linda was ushering today, and so she had to be at church one hour early, at 8:30 am. I told her they won't let me in, but she got me into the building. A few minutes later they nearly kicked me back out, as they told me I was not supposed to be inside yet.

My appointment with Charles Stock was at 9 am. Charles is an amazing man of God - not well-known like other guys here, but a real treasure. I greatly appreciate him. I first talked to him exactly a year ago, and was amazed to hear that he actually had a heart for Mali in the 70s, praying for my country. I was even more amazed to hear that he's well connected to Austria, and that we have friends in common. What are the odds for all that!

My spiritual Mom Jill said she'd come to Mali in November tentatively, and last summer I also invited Charles. I wanted to bring in carriers of God's glory to break it open. Charles said yes. With Jill gone, he's now our only speaker, and we're honored to have him come. Originally I had planned our fifth anniversary service to be the building dedication, and a big conference, inviting all the Christians and denominations. Well, that's not gonna happen, since the sanctuary won't be built any time soon. He's still coming, and planning on taking some people with him.

We sat down on a bench outside the church, enjoying the sunshine, and talking for one hour. Charles just radiates with God's love and joy, and I feel blessed when I talk to him. We were talking about all kinds of things, including Austria. He told me he's going to Austria for three weeks, end of April, beginning of May. I listened up because that's when I had planned to be there as well. Now it looks like I could travel with him during that time. Wouldn't that be awesome? New connections in my own country. I love it! I'm hoping to make it up to his church some time before he comes to Mali in November.

Conference & Friends

When we went back inside, the worship was still going. Steve Chua was doing the first part of the morning meeting, and it was good again. Then they had a few minute break. I was looking for my friend Victoria, who had driven down a few hours for this conference. I found her, and we decided to go have lunch together.

I then got a hold of Mark Tubbs, the director of HIM. I always want to get a chance to talk to him, and glean from him. He's planted a good number of churches in East Africa, and is a man of wisdom. I've been bugging him for years to come to Mali. Today he told me that Charles told him to also come to Mali in November. So Mark told me another trip was canceled, and he's considering it. Praise God! He had other words of encouragement and wisdom, and I felt very blessed. I don't think I've seen him as tender-hearted as time around before. A great man of God!

I'm really blessed to be a part of HIM, with all those wonderful people.

I went back inside where Che Ahn (senior pastor and founder of HIM) was already speaking, and listened to him for some time. At noon Victoria and I left to have lunch together. We now have our traditional place to go, a local restaurant chain called Mary Calendar's. I love it.

Time just flew by as we were catching up. I couldn't believe when it was already 2 pm and time to go back. And we weren't done catching up!

Worship had already started when we got back. I took a seat in a back row, since I was actually waiting for my friend Sondra to come pick me up and take me to another meeting. Steve Chua came up to continue. He's a great teacher, funny with a serious subject, and has a great way to bring those truths across. However, I was tired, and soon settled into a more comfortable position, and fell asleep. I kept my phone in my hand, since I was waiting for Sondra to call me and let me know when she's here. I woke up when suddenly people all around me stood up, and I didn't know why. I realized it was a specific call, and stayed seated. Where was Sondra?

At 4 pm the meeting was over, and I went to talk to a friend I realized I wouldn't be able to get together with. So we talked for a few minutes, before Sondra showed up.

House Church

So we finally got going, and it was quite a distance. It seems like we drove over an hour - that's nothing in greater LA.

Sondra wanted me to come with her to the meeting because she thought that they'd be good people to connect with. It was like a housechurch meeting. The worship was still going when we got there though they had started over an hour earlier. It was pretty crowded in the living room. I picked a spot and joined in the worship.

Not long after that, they called Sondra in the middle since they were going to pray for her. And then they asked me to come as well; I was able to take this picture before that.

They started prophesying over both of us. This is what I remember: She talked about all the attacks, all the things coming against me, and now this roar would rise up within me and I would have new authority to stand against those things. They actually all roared over me all together, and that's when I could feel the anointing breaking in.

One lady saw Sondra and me connected with a red sash. Sondra lives in South Africa. God has definitely connected us, but it will be interesting to see in the future what exactly that means.

And now my favorite: another husband prophecy. It's interesting in the light of the prophetic word of four years ago that I would be married within 4-5 years (which only leaves this year). Unfortunately, nothing is recorded.

She was saying that even last year, I wasn't ready yet, but now I'm ready, and God is preparing him as well. She said something like that he's gonna love the power woman I am. I really don't remember the correct wording. I'm trying to get the tape and transcribe it. I'm so looking forward to meeting my husband!

After the prayer time, the meeting was over, and it was time for fellowship. I talked with several people, including the pastor. I had to be back at Harvest Rock Church between 8 and 8:30 pm, the end of the service, to catch a ride home, and so we left about ten to 8, as the first ones. It actually took us about 50 minutes to drive back, but time just flew by. I enjoyed having that extra time in the car with Sondra, talking all the way there and back. She dropped me off at church, where my host was already eagerly waiting for me. I then enjoyed the half-hour ride home, talking primarily about "business" with my host, different things having to do with the IRS and financial side of H2TNI. Honestly, he might be one of few people seeing clearly in the midst of the challenges of a ministry with 3 currencies and 3 continents, and a non-American non-resident president!

Back home we did some more small talk, while he was watching some TV and I got on the computer. Tonight, I should be getting more sleep for a change! When I'll be asked in a few days how the chronic fatigue is doing, I don't really want to say, "I'm tired", but I will have to get sufficient sleep for that ;-).

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Friday, January 30, 2009

News From Mali

This morning I finally succeeded in talking to Paul, even though it wasn't for very long. We caught up quickly. Actually, his text message is what woke me up before it was even time to get up. It said that there were problems, so I was anxious to hear what was going on.

He told me that the government and police have really been after us, examining us, doing inquiries. The nurse who took us to the police last year has been busy going to the highest places possible to get us into trouble, and poor Paul has had to deal with all this (but he's doing a great job!). He told me how police and officials have come to the property repeatedly to question him. Finally, the top person from the ministry for children came to our property! Normally, they'd summon US to come THERE. He came and asked Paul all kinds of questions for a long time. He also questioned our street children. Well, the kids were praising us very highly, and he realized that the nurse's allegations were simply untrue. In the end, what was meant for harm, God turned around for good. The official (he's the regional top person) liked everything so much, he said he'd help us with the paperwork. All applications for children's centers go through his hands and are approved by him. So, PRAISE GOD!

I'm so proud of Paul. And I'm sure glad I wasn't there for all this. By the time I left Mali, I was pretty wary of government officials and police, not wanting to be summoned or questioned again after all that we've gone through this past year....

Paul told me that everything was going well, and I had him share with his own words how God gave him that dream about me staying in the US longer and having a divine appointment. He told me he wasn't happy, but that he realized it was important. He also told me that some of the street kids are asking about me constantly. I miss them. But I'm also SO AWARE that I could not go back right now - I'm so glad I'm not returning to Mali on Monday.

It's a very interesting season I'm in. It's already been a very interesting year so far. I feel - how to describe it - PURPOSE in those next 3 additional weeks I'm in the US. I'm so looking forward to more restoration physically (Hansa Center), emotionally (TPM sessions) and spiritually (revival services). I'm so in love with Him, and so hungry for Him, and just want to spend time with HIM.

HIM Pastors' Summit

We left the house at 9 am, my host being so kind to drop me off at church for the meetings that started at 9:30 am. There was a time of worship, and then Steve Chua spoke. He worked with Ellel Ministries (inner healing ministry) for some time, and now started a ministry he's heading up. The topic of the weekend is "Abba loves you", so he really teaches inner healing principles, which is great. Nothing new to me, but still a good reminder. I enjoyed listening to Him, and smiled most of the morning, thinking of my wonderful heavenly Father.

HIM provided lunch for all of us - thank you! - which is always a great time for fellowship. To my great joy, my friend Sondra had come today. We met through Jill; Sondra was a close friend of hers, having known her for 30+ years. Since Sondra lives in South Africa, we have a lot in common.

So, the two of us ended up sitting together for lunch, and talking the whole time, which I enjoyed very much. We talked a lot about Jill. Ever since arriving in LA, I keep thinking of her. I'd always see Jill when coming to Pasadena. When we first drove up to church yesterday, I remembered how I sat in the car with Jill driving up that same road last summer. As I sit in the meetings, I remember Jill walking in, or Jill sitting in her spot, or Jill greeting me, and saying we should connect. Or walking up to Jill, and just wanting to be near her, and bless her, and help her, and serve my spiritual Mom. I miss her, and a few times tears have come to my eyes as I remember specific moments with her. It's just not right that she had to go prematurely like this! It creates in me a determination as her double-portion daughter to advance His kingdom even more, to go out and honor her life and deposit in me as I minister. Now even more!

I also found out that someone I know and appreciate is a long-time friend of Sondra's and in town right now. I was sad that it won't work out to see him, but got to talk to him on the phone. Wonderful!

At 1:30 pm the meetings continued. Now the short last night was catching up with me, and I was very tired. Charles Stock - who's coming to Mali in November - did the afternoon session. I love that guy! I enjoyed listening to him, as always, and stayed awake :-).

The meeting ended at 4:30 or so, and we had until 6:30 when they'd open the doors again. I have several friends here who I all try to have some time with - a challenge since this conference is one day shorter than usual. So tonight I went to dinner with my friends from Peru, as well as two ladies. One of them has done the internship with Todd Bentley, and now has a great ministry. The other one is in the process of moving to Mozambique. Since the first lady is of Peruvian origin, they really connected. I was so glad to listen as they were planning a trip to visit my friends in Peru. They need the help!

Conference

We got back to church, where the evening meeting was the first of the public conference. It was the first in the auditorium, which once again brought so many memories of Jill and made me sad.

They let us move forward as they had reserved more seats than necessary. Once again I ended up sitting next to Andrew, missionary in Brazil. I enjoyed the time of worship, though I struggled with being tired and thinking of Jill. I sure would have needed a nap!

Steve Chua then did the first session. It was good, nothing new, all about the fall and its effect on us. I always love teaching on inner healing. Towards the end I got so tired I couldn't stay awake any more.

I finally had an opportunity to talk to Andrew after the meeting, before it was time to go home. I was hoping for a longer night tonight, but it looks unlikely now, as it's late, and we have to leave the house at 8 am.

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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Last Night

Still in shock, I got off the computer late (Kansas City time) and went to my room. There I put on worship music, lay down face-down on the floor, and sought His face. As I lay there, I thought of my sermon these past two Sundays, about trials and suffering, and how to react, and simply applied those truths - and it worked. I started thanking Jesus for letting me share in His sufferings, and praising and worshipping Him. I also reminded myself of that special moment in a recent TPM session where God made these words so real to me on a new level, "I will never, ever, ever, ever leave you nor forsake you" and "My plans for you are GOOD". I thanked Him that everything is going to work out for good, and declared again that my trust is totally in HIM.

I finally got off the floor and went to bed. And, I slept wonderfully until waking up by myself 7 hours later.

Please pray for me, my friends, the board. Pray for His truth to be made manifest. Pray for His name to be glorified. Pray for fruit to come out of this. Pray for the enemy not to succeed in destroying our relationship and sow fear and discord.

Divine Appointment

Last night in the car my host Linda told me that her husband is an accountant, and way up there doing all this for Christian ministries and whole denominations, being an expert in the field. So I told her I had to do some IRS stuff right now, and it would be great if I could ask him some questions.

Well, she passed that on to her husband. This morning I was doing my emails, when he came back from having had breakfast with his son. He was gonna go to work now. He asked what kind of questions I had. So I told him of the challenges of having to do those forms, and all the things I don't know. He was very understanding, and compassionate. He said he would help me, and asked when there'd be time. With the conference going on, there really wasn't any time at all. So he sat down saying, let's do it now, and this was work also. He called his office to say he'd come in later.

I was totally amazed at his expertise, and how everything seemed so clear to him. And he could tell me exactly what the steps to take are. Wow. So we got right to work, and he's gonna take care of everything. He's also helping setting up the monthly operation for accounting, with another Christian organization that will keep the records in order and bring accountability. Of course, it's gonna cost money, but he said it would pay off. In any case, I had to pay quite a hefty fee right away to the US Treasury for the IRS application.

I'm so blown away at how the Lord saw me struggling with this, not knowing how to do it, and then put me in the very house of this guy. Wow! In a few weeks, the papers will be filed, and we'll be able to start receiving tax-deductable donations directly.

HIM Pastors' Summit

I was so busy working with the accountant that I never got anything else done. I had asked Paul to come on skype, and he did, but I could not talk to him. I haven't talked to him for too long for sure.

At noon we left the house, and Linda dropped me off at the church. She had something else to do, and so I got there 90 minutes early. I was the first person to arrive. Staff member Derek was already there, and I got to talk to him, and then to staff member Rica. It was so cold in there, that I finally went outside to enjoy the sun. It's so nice and warm here compared to Kansas/Missouri!

I was standing by the water, enjoying the sunshine, and just enjoying the beauty of nature, while thinking on the beauty of God. After some time, someone I know came, and I started talking with him, and then going back inside, talking to more people.

At 2 pm the first meeting started - with worship. The worship was so beautiful! I loved it! Then Mark Tubbs (HIM director) came up to speak. I had never heard him speak that way. He talked about how our thoughts hurt our heart, when we agree with the lies of the enemy. Everything he said was full of compassion and understanding, reaching out to all of us. With much of what he said, I felt like he was speaking to me. Later he even jokingly said that.

After he was done, he prayed, and tears ran down my cheeks. Then he had us go into small groups. Coming back from the bathroom, I didn't feel too motivated to "intrude" on one of the groups already formed. I was rather discouraged from the message. As I was standing there wondering what group to make myself go to, Mark saw me byself, and waved me over. So I joined his group. When it was my turn to share, I mentioned the hardships of the past few months, including the events of last night. They then prayed for me first. Mark said that God was going to baptize me with His love these next few days. Cool. That's really all I remember. It was good prayer.

Then we prayed for the couple. Mark told me to go ahead, with all I have to give (or something like that), and my rather negative response was reprimanded by him (and rightly so). I felt very weak and unanointed. Then we prayed for another guy, and again he told me to pray with power and authority. Well, as someone who loves praying for people, the anointing kicked in. Then it was Mark's turn to be prayed for, and the anointing was very strong as I laid hands on him and prayed/prophesied. Wow. Where did that come from? From God of course! I love it!

It was dinner time, and dinner was provided for us. I always love those times of fellowship. They have round tables set up everywhere. I'm always the one starting a new table, praying for God to send the right people over. And I had a great time talking to the lady next to me primarily, who was ordained at the same time I was. She asked me how life has changed since, and I told her of all the difficulties. She, in return, has seen increase in every way since.

I then walked over to a couple who I've been friends with for years. They minister in Peru. It was good to see them again, and we talked for quite some time.

7 pm came rapidly, and time for the evening meeting. The worship time was so glorious! I was just basking in His presence and beauty, simply smiling and feeling His pleasure. I could have stayed there!

Che Ahn was doing the speaking, and it was good. After he was done, he had us line up "revival-style" so we could all get prayed for. I was looking forward to it.

I had several people walk by and pray. When Mark came, he simply said "fly" which made me smile since Joshua Mills's song FLY has a lot of meaning to me. It's something God's been speaking to me for years.

When Che Ahn came to pray for me, it was very powerful and I went down to the floor where I simply enjoyed God's presence, realizing once again how hungry I am for Him. I need Him so much (more)!

When I got up, my host was already waiting for me to take me home. It's a half-hour ride.

Back home, I went to work doing some stuff I had to do for the IRS stuff, and then continued doing some other important things, including writing this blog. And before I know it, it's 1 am - Californian time!

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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Last Night

I finally got off the floor and went to bed. And, I slept wonderfully until waking up by myself 7 hours later.

HIM Meetings

I have the morning off, with the HIM meetings starting at 2 pm. Check back later to read how those went.

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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

From Kansas To California

After 5 hours of sleep I got up and finished packing, leaving the house at 8:30 am. It was time to say good-bye to my wonderful hosts Bill & Linda. When I get back on Monday, I'll be staying elsewhere since they are going back to Uganda.

I had to stop at the bank, and church, and then at my future host's house to drop off the stuff for Mali, so I don't have to take it to California with me. It was pretty slippery on the side roads, but it all worked out. I had plenty of time, and got to the airport at around 10:15.

I had been told that it's $8 a day to park there, but found that it's actually $20. That was not a pleasant surprise. I called a friend who told me that long-term parking is elsewhere, with a shuttle, but I was not up to going through that unexpected hassle.

I checked in, and went inside to wait for boarding. Once again (sigh) I was singled out for a special security check. They went through all my stuff, and patted me down. Thankfully I had plenty of time, and the personnel in Kansas City is nice.

I took advantage of the free wireless internet there while waiting for boarding. We were a little late. I then got Dr. David's book called BEATING LYME'S DISEASE out. I had not looked at it yet since I had no interest in that disease, but then found out it really is more general, explaining everything he does, all the methods. It's a medical book, but written in a way that a layperson can understand it. I read the first 230 pages today, and it really helps to understand everything better. Dr. David has actually developed and patented around 30 methods. I think it's great when God gives insight and wisdom to His people to make scientific discoveries to use for His glory.

I flew from Kansas City to Salt Lake City where I had a 2 hour layover. From there I continued on to Los Angeles, where I arrived at 6 pm local time (8 pm KC time). I got my luggage (thank God!), and went to the curb, where I called my local hosts. They were on their way, and arrived shortly afterwards.

We spent quite some time in the car, ending up in quite some traffic - I was told the worst spot in all of the US. But our time was spent talking, getting to know each other, and so it didn't seem long.

I enjoyed the weather being so warm (compared to KS/MO), but the house sure is cold at 69°F (20.5°C). Linda and I had some dinner, and then she showed me where to connect my computer to the internet.

Total Shock

I downloaded my emails, and had one that ranks very high up there with the worst emails ever received. Close friends of mine informed me they were cutting their ties with me because I was "into New Age" now. They think the Hansa Center in Wichita is New Age, and I have not been able to convince them otherwise. They also said they would inform the German NGO cooperating with us.

Honestly, I was so stunned, I had to read it a few times. Could that really be? After all our years of friendship, just like this? So hastily?

I was looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow, but now I don't know if I'll be able to sleep at all.

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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Hansa Center

Finally - what a wonderful 9-hour night of tight sleep! I was mad at my alarm for waking me up, and so thankful they had proposed a 10 am appointment rather than 9 am. I hadn't slept that well in a while. But time was short to get to my appointment, and I didn't get around to eating - Dr David won't like it! ;-)

I'm someone who always arrives early for appointments, and so I had plenty of time when I walked to my car to drive to the Hansa Center. However, I had underestimated the snow that had come down during the night. I started scratching the ice off the windshield, and it wouldn't even come off! Then someone came to visit my host, and the lady started helping me with her scratcher, and together we got it done relatively quickly. The roads were also very slippery, but at least the highway was fine. I had to drive cautiously.

To my amazement I made it there on time; it was the doctor who was running late with his previous appointment(s). So I got to do a treatment before going in, and gladly went into the infrared sauna to heat up and read my book.

It was after 11 am when I finally got to go in to see Dr David. I was looking forward to it, but didn't hardly get to ask or discuss any of the items on my list. His first question was whether this lady doctor in training could sit in on our session. What else could I say but yes? I wasn't happy at all at first, as she felt like an intruder to me. I realized the questions and things on my mind would have to wait. However, in the course of my hour in there I started caring less and less about her presence, while Dr David was his usual joyful, talkative self. I'm just not someone who likes surprises.

My number one question - as it had originally been my last day there - was how I was doing now compared to the first day, and how many more days he would recommend from a medical perspective. His answer was 5 days - exactly what I had had in mind. So the schedule I had already had in mind is gonna work. If you want to know when I'm where, please check my CALENDAR page on my website.

Return To Kansas City

When I left the center at close to 2 pm, it was still snowing. Thankfully, it wasn't hard to get my windshield cleared. But I had already been warned how slippery the parking lot and side streets were.

I first had to go to a closeby pharmacy to get some stuff, particularly for the cold I have and for my trip. My next stop was gonna be the bank drive-thru. However, as I tried to turn into the bank driveway, I started sliding. So I let go, having to go straight. The bank would have to wait for another time.

I returned home, and couldn't wait to get a bite to eat as I was really hungry. I enjoyed the time of talking with Karen again, and had to forcefully remove myself to pack back up and get going back to KC. Once again I said good-bye to them - but only for a week since I'll be back here on Tuesday.

It was nearly 5 pm when I left, and still snowing, but not very much. At one point during my 3-hour trip the snow increased, but it was never really icy or slippery. I listened to teachings most of the time, which made the time pass more quickly.

On Sunday the pastor of the church where I was preaching told me he knew where I could stay when I come back from CA. I talked to the lady on the phone, but she told me she doesn't have internet. However, her neighbors do. So I called her and asked her if I could come by, and she said yet.

Three hours after leaving Wichita, not having stopped anywhere, I pulled up at the lady's house just before 8 pm. It's a beautiful new house near where IHOP has its church building, and she lives there all alone. She's an elementary school teacher, and has done the 3-month program for seniors that IHOP offers. What a sweet lady!

She was so excited to see me! She told me she had thought the pastor had forgotten that she had offered her place for people to stay. When I talked to the pastor later, he told me that he simply won't send just anyone to her place.

She showed me the house and made me some tea, while my computer was booting up. To my joy and relief, it did find an unsecured wireless network - praise God! I told her I could come! I already love her place. She already gave me the keys, and so I can drop off the suitcase with stuff for Mali there before going to the airport tomorrow morning. I didn't stay long, since I wanted to get home and get the packing done.

I got home at the same time as my friends, just before 9 pm. Instead of packing, I sat down with them and talked. Linda is a nurse, and very interested in the clinic in Wichita. I borrowed the doctor's book on Lyme's disease from my Wichita friends, and she started reading it. I excused myself to start packing.

Now it's 1 am, and the packing is mostly done. I was tired all evening, wishing I could have another night of sleep like last night. When I get back to MO/KS!

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Monday, January 26, 2009

Driving To Wichita & Text Message From Mali

After three and a half hours of sleep, I woke up at 6 am, before the alarm even woke me. I thought to myself, I might as well get up and get going. So I finished packing and loaded up the car. It was pretty cold, but I was sure awake. It was just after 6:30 when I left Lone Jack, in the southeast of Kansas City.

I put on worship music, and worshiped my Beautiful One. I was totally amazed at how many cars were already on the highway. Thankfully, there weren't any traffic jams. After nearly an hour, I had finally crossed over to the Kansas side of Kansas City and was leaving the city, with fewer and fewer cars around.

Around 9 am I started getting tired. I still had about an hour to go. And then God gave me the antidote - I had a text message from Paul (actually three). I was totally blown away as I read it! Awesome God!

Let me back up. It was Friday night that God told me to stay in the US for another three weeks. That night I sent Paul a text message that I'd like to talk to him - a cue to get on skype. All day Saturday, he didn't log in. So Saturday night I sent him another text message, telling him that I felt God wanted me to stay another 3 things, and what he'd think about that, and how things are going back home. I knew I wouldn't be home all day Sunday to get onto skype.

So now it's Monday morning, and Paul sends me a text message back. He was telling me that things are going well, and the night he got my text message - that I sent while he was sleeping - he had a dream. In the dream, God is telling him that I'm staying in the US longer. He's also telling him that I'm going to have a divine encounter. WOW! What a confirmation of my extended stay! And I can't wait for the encounter :-). I got so excited, I wasn't tired any more, but called a few people.

I realized I would still take me some time to get to my destination, and I was desperate for a bathroom, so I stopped at the next opportunity, and I got myself some hot chocolate as well. However, I realized that not only was most of my sense of smell gone, but also most of sense of taste. It might as well have been coffee (I hate coffee!). In any case, I was relieved and continued on my journey.

It was exactly 10 am when I pulled up at my friends' house. My appointment at the clinic was at 11 am. I was glad to have time to shower before going there.

It was great to see my friend Karen again, and I just quickly shared a few things about the weekend, while getting ready to shower and leave again.

Hansa Center

I pulled up at the clinic at 11 pm, and found out that they were running late. Because of that, they started me on the treatments with the machines. It was after noon before I went in to see Dr. Samantha, who treated me for an hour. She asked me how I was doing, and I told her I had slept 3+ hours and had a cold. She was just starting to ask me about the chronic fatigue, when she realized it was a ridiculous question. She was truly sorry that I was suffering from this cold and gave me something for it.

At one point Dr. David came in, and said hi. I had been disappointed not to be with him today, since I have a whole bunch of questions for him, but they'll just have to wait until tomorrow.

Once I was done with Dr. Sam, I finished the remaining treatments. With this one machine, you just lie there for half an hour, and all morning the tiredness from the short night was catching up with. Well, I pretty much fell asleep during that half-hour treatment. I was so tired when I had to get up. I just wanted to go home and sleep. It was 3 pm when I left.

I forgot to say that I always have my mp3-player with worship music with me to listen to during the treatments (when possible), and today was the first time I was actually praying for the doctors and the Hansa Center, that God would come and inhabit this place.

When I reached my car at 3 pm, the windshield was covered with frozen drops of water, and no ice-scraper in the car. So I turned the car on, and the heat, blowing it onto the windshield. I saw enough to start driving, and it's not far to my hosts' house.

Fellowship & Prayer Points

Arriving at home, I thought no one was home and I'd have to wait in the cold. Finally Tom heard me and let me in.

I turned my computer on for the first time today, and I found an important message from my travel agent in Mali. I was amazed! She had found me a very cheap ticket from LA to Kansas City on Monday, and it had to be purchased TODAY, as the price would TRIPLE tomorrow. But it was already evening in Mali! So I immediately wrote back, and got my ticket. Praise God! All the flight changes have been made now.

How did I spend the rest of the day? Time just flew by. I talked with Karen a few hours, just enjoying the fellowship, and took care of email stuff. To my greatest surprise, I also had three voicemail messages, and three people to call. Before I knew it, it was late night.

I never lay down for a nap, but I sure got pretty tired again later in the afternoon. And then thinking of driving back to Kansas City tomorrow, and packing, and flying to LA on Wednesday, and the busy conference, sure didn't lift my spirit when I thought about the busy-ness. All I REALLY want to do is REST right now.

So, please pray for this cold to dissolve in the name of Jesus, so I can fly being healthy (would help). Pray also for God to show me where to stay when I get back to Kansas City. And please pray I get a good night's sleep and rest tonight. My appointment tomorrow is only at 10 am, thank God.

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Sunday, January 25, 2009

Preaching In Kansas City

It's 1:30 in the morning, and I've been trying to fall asleep for an hour to no avail (the cold), so I thought I might as well get up again and write today's blog, even though I have to get up at 6:30 am.

This morning I got up sufficiently early to spend some time with God before driving to Kansas City Christian Fellowship. I was looking forward to getting to watch God do great things again. As always, I was very much aware of myself having nothing to offer.

As I drove the half hour to church, I was praising God and enjoying His presence, feeling the anticipation. I got to church half an hour before the service started, to set up my computer and get settled. I last preached in that church a year and a half ago, but got to see the pastors last summer. They are an amazing couple, wonderful pastors who I appreciate a lot.

Vicki was the first one there, and I enjoyed talking to her. We set the projector up for my computer. Todd came a little later. They were telling me that some people had gone to hear Lou Engle preach, and others were sick. Not a problem; whoever was there was there. Some of the people coming in actually remembered and recognized me.

I sat down in the first row in a spot where I'd have space during worship. It's only a small church, and small worship team. Worship wasn't that long, but as I looked upon my Beloved, I was just mesmerized by His beauty. I enjoyed His presence, and knelt down before my King, enjoying Him.

After worship was over, I got back up and sat down on my seat. It was time for announcements and offering. As I glanced back, I saw Dr. David from Wichita and his brother Andrew, an HIM missionary. Andrew had said he might come, but I was still amazed to see him, and very surprised to see his brother. I usually don't tell my friends when I preach somewhere (at least in Kansas City), as it makes me nervous. Seeing Andrew & David - new friends I don't know well yet - sure made me pretty nervous! So I focused my eyes upon HIM even more.

It was my turn to come up, and I first showed my old presentation from last year, making some comments at the same time so people would know where we are at now compared to then. Then I came up and started with praying. I simply lifted my eyes to my Beloved, and poured out my heart to Him. He's so beautiful! In those moments, I just could go on and on talking to Him...

Then I started preaching, sharing my heart, in the essence the same sermon I gave last Sunday and wrote in my email newsletter last week, though it came out differently of course. It's about carrying our cross, and how to (re)act in times of suffering and trials. Again, I could see some people being touched by God even as I spoke.

In the end, I prayed once again, from my heart. Then I told people I'd love to pray for them, and they started coming forward, one by one. Again, nearly every person I prayed for was crying, as the Father ministered His love to them, speaking through me to them. I'm just so amazed at how many people have been abused out there!!!

One lady told me she wanted to get delivered of alcohol and drugs. I found out that she had walked away from God, and didn't think God wanted her to come back to Him. As I started ministering to her, God gave her such a loving invitation to return to Him. It was so beautiful! And this precious woman accepted! Hallelujah! I then broke the power of the addictions over her, and prayed for the Father's love, presence and joy to fill her. How awesome is that!

I just love this! I wished I could do this all the time!

It took quite some time to pray for everyone - and it's so worth it - but it always means that most people will have left by the time you're done and can talk. Dr. David had left to return to Wichita, but Andrew was still there. Though I met Andrew for the first time in person, I felt like I'd known him for a long time (just through email and internet contact). He asked whether I was available to join him for lunch, and I was able to adjust my schedule.

I said good-bye to Todd & Vicki, the pastors, and followed Andrew to the health-food store.

New & Old Friends

We got there at 2 pm approximately, and since I was going out to a special restaurant later, I only had a little salad. I enjoyed talking to Andrew, and finding out more about him. He only joined HIM last year, and has just left Africa, and gone to Brazil with his Brazilian wife and kids. He's also going to the HIM conference in Pasadena this week.

At 4 pm my precious friend Debbie came to spend the rest of the day with me. It's become our tradition to go to the best steak restaurant - Texas Roadhouse - every time I'm in town. So that's where we went. As always, we spent hours talking and catching up. Since Debbie was close to Jill as well, we ended up talking about our special friend a lot.

From the steak place, we went to Starbucks where we continued talking. By now, my nose was getting red and I always needed a tissue handy. I was really thankful that I was feeling relatively well in the morning (with Tylenol), but now the cold was catching up with me. I was also getting tired. Another friend of Debbie's joined us at Starbucks later. At 9 pm I said my good-byes to return home. As always, it had been a wonderful few hours with my friend.

Leaving Starbucks, it was pretty cold and you could see the frost on the ground already. They are predicting snow for tonight and the morning, and hazardous road conditions. Please pray for me as I leave the house at 7 am (in 5 hours) to drive three hours to Wichita.

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Saturday, January 24, 2009

Many Thoughts & Some Friends

What a day! It started with an email from concerned friends that did not fail to do its work. I thank God for friends who love you enough to tell you when they think you're doing the wrong thing. I took it to heart, and thought it through, and sent them my reply.

I also kept thinking about whether I should stay longer like I feel like God's telling me to. I wanted to talk to Paul about it, but could not reach him. My travel agent gave me the green light - I can change my flights. My hosts though told me I could not stay here since they are going to Africa themselves. So I need to find another place.

Having gone to bed at 2 am last night, I slept in, and slept better than I have been all week. Then I had brunch with my wonderful hosts, enjoying an opportunity to talk to them. In fact, I talked to them from midnight to 1 am since they wanted to know everything about the clinic in Wichita.

The first appointment I had was at 3 pm, at WRC with Cliff. They had a seminar all day there, and I was going to go there for part of the time, but it simply didn't work out that way. I thought I'd have time to get things done, but time just flew by. Before I knew it, it was time to leave to meet with Cliff.

I got to WRC just minutes before the seminar was over. I was amazed at how many people there were. I sat down and listened to the last few minutes. To my surprise, Cliff was at the very table I had sat down at. It was good to see him again. I talked with a few other people, before we left.

We drove to a nearby restaurant where we sat down to eat and talk. Cliff lives 9 months out of the year in East Africa, and he's also had a very tough year. It was good to share our experiences in Africa with each other. Cliff is an amazing man of God.

From there we drove to the place I'm staying; Cliff is good friends with my hosts. They weren't there, and so Cliff sat down to get some rest before going to church. I went to my room, feeling very tired. I wanted to get a nap. I lay down, and lay there for a while like a stone. When I got back up, I realized I was actually sick. My throat was hurting, and I felt pretty miserable. Cliff left for church, but I wasn't ready yet. So I decided to give it a little more time, and go to church later. As long as I'd get there for the ministry time.

World Revival Church

It was 8:15 pm before I left; the service started at 7 pm. I'm someone who hates coming late, but I was glad I was going there at all.

I got there at 8:45 pm, and was amazed again at how full the sanctuary was. I got a seat in the last row - not my favorite. Good thing that they have screens up. They were just doing the offering, and then Kathy came up to preach. I was amazed that the preaching hadn't even started yet, and was wondering what I had missed.

At the end of the service, I went forward for prayer, and Kathy prayed for me. Once again I enjoyed God's presence on the floor.

This time, when I got up, there were still plenty of people around. I talked to a few, but wanted to go say hello to pastor Steve & Kathy, since this was gonna be my last service (if I didn't change my return flight). So I went to the side door, and let the usher know. Some time later, they came out to talk to me, and I enjoyed a few wonderful minutes of conversation with them. I shared with them in a nutshell, and they listened attentively. Pastor Steve said they'll keep in mind how desperately I need people. I also told them I was in the process of trying to extend my stay here, and would be back in two weeks if it works out.

I thanked the Lord for those precious minutes with them as I walked away. I then saw J.D. who is probably my favorite person there; he's the director of the network, and a very smart guy. He's always been very supportive of me and encouraging, and I enjoy talking to him. We talked for a few minutes. If I get to stay, I'll go visit him in his office to talk.

Then it was time to go home. I'm preaching in the morning, so I shouldn't even be up right now. Please pray for my health, as I have a long day tomorrow!

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Friday, January 23, 2009

Fourth Day Of Treatments

Last night, just before 10 pm, my hosts' children and grandchildren came over to meet me. I enjoyed telling the kids about Mali and the children there, and they watched the presentation. We had a good half hour.

I was pretty tired last night, so I headed for bed really early - at 11 pm. Since I've had a hard time falling asleep all week, I was wondering how I'd do, and it did take me over an hour.

This morning my appointment was for 8 am - terribly early. It's because the doctors had to go out of town to treat someone at home. I did wake up before the alarm clock woke me, though. I took my medication, and remembered that I was supposed to eat, so I grabbed some almonds. It was too early for any more than that.

I arrived at the clinic on time, and was waiting to see Dr. Samantha. To my pleasant surprise, it was Dr. David who told me to come inside for the treatment. I spent over an hour with him, and enjoyed our conversation greatly (while he treated me). He told me all kinds of things, including stories of "missions trips" he's taken to other countries, where he's done this same kind of treatments. He also shared other testimonies, and I asked his opinion on different thing. He also did a different kind of treatment on me today that I hadn't had done before, and he explained it all. Having studied physics, I probably understand more than most, but I still wished I'd understand better. I'm not so much an auditive person; I need to see it written, so I'd probably have to research it a little bit. In any case, my scientific side has surely been awakened these days. I'm someone who wants to know how things operate; even as a kid, I would be the one wanting to know how a radio or TV works rather than just using it. So, I feel this curiousity stirring inside of me to REALLY understand how all those treatments are working, since it's all scientifically based. Then I could also explain it better to others, as several have already expressed interest in coming here.

I have to say, I got more and more intrigued as I listened to him, and then he even said that they teach lay-people to do this. Hm. If all this is as effective and amazing as it sounds, it would be worth knowing how to do it. As for me, some things have been taking care of this week, but I'm not done. Usually they have out-of-towners come in for two weeks, and I've only done half that so far. It was an easy decision to come back Monday and Tuesday before flying out to CA on Wednesday.

Today the doctor also gave me a speech telling me about Dr. Samantha, how she is a Christian and wonderful person. In the end, only God knows the heart. I felt bad though for having offended him with my questioning her position yesterday. I don't want to have any preconceived ideas against anyone. In any case, these doctors are in a no-win situation. If they use Christian language, the unbelievers won't come. And if they use more inclusive (New Age sounding) language, the Christians won't come. They are trying to walk the fine line, and I admire them for that. Dr. David has had his share of criticism, and I wouldn't want to be in his place.

After my time with him, I went through the typical list of different treatments where no person is needed. Having come in at 8 am, I left at noon today, after 4 hours. Yes, I was tired and hungry, though I had eaten an apple during a pause. At least I was not reprimanded again for not having eaten, since I proudly shared how I had eaten some almonds. ;-)

Extend My Stay???

I returned home where I had a bite to eat, then I finished packing up, and said good-bye - but only until Monday. In this short time I've come to love and appreciate this precious couple!

I got some gas, and was on my way to Kansas City just before 2 pm. It's a 3 hour drive. At first I listened to worship music, but then I put on teaching, and that was great. It shortened the drive considerably.

With all the pills I'm taking now, I'm drinking lots of water. By the time I was approaching Kansas City, I needed to go to the bathroom urgently. Since I was going to stop at my friends' house for my mail, that seemed to be my salvation, since it's another half hour to the house I'm staying at from there. However, I didn't count with the rushhour traffic slowing me down big time. It still worked out :-).

I only had an hour back home to shower and get ready for church. Now I was really looking forward to going to World Revival Church - the place where I went to school for two years. It would be good to see old friends again, and get prayer at the end of the service.

I got there later than I had wanted, and was amazed how full the parking lot was. Every Friday Daystar (Christian TV) is broadcasting live. I greeted some people I knew, and only got a seat in the next to last row to my amazement. I've never seen it that full. And they had already started, and were talking.

The worship time was pretty good, though it seemed a little short. I enjoyed the words of the songs that expressed hunger and desire for God. They also did plenty of testimonies of healing and restoration. Then pastor Steve preached on Israel, and making them jealous unto salvation. That was followed by ministry time.

I went forward to get prayer. I don't like sitting in the very back at church; I prefer the first third. As I walked forward, I could feel the atmosphere charged with the presence of God. Pastors Steve & Kathy went around praying for people. I had to wait for quite some time, but enjoyed being in God's presence.

Then pastor Steve came over and prayed for, and I went down on the ground. I enjoyed His presence so much, and realized how much I had missed it. I was smiling all over, full of joy because He is so wonderful! I just lay there, realizing how much I needed Him, and needed His manifest presence. I also realized how much I've missed it.

And then I thought God spoke to me to extend my stay in Missouri/Kansas. Extend my stay??? Are you kidding me? In just over a week I'll be back in Mali! How should I extend it? I wasn't sure whether to be excited or upset. Was I really hearing God? My not being too excited seemed to confirm that.

I started thinking how one person a short while back asked me whether I'd stay for longer to recover, and I thought that was ridiculous - of course not. I also thought of how I don't like things half-done, and me not doing the minimum of two weeks in Wichita is not having completed it properly. Then I felt like I needed to come back to World Revival Church to get prayer and spiritual refreshing. And a week ago I was going to ask my friends for more TPM sessions, which would be possible as well. And I felt I also needed that extra time to work on my book. Just that I need more time to recover on the whole. The extra time in my mind was three weeks. Can I stay three more weeks???

I stayed on the floor quite some time. I didn't really want to get up at all, but just stay there in His presence, like in the old times. Finally I forced myself up, and saw an old friend next to me who I talked to for a few minutes. Unfortunately, most everyone else was already gone.

To my surprise I saw a pastor who I've known for years. He's in the JESUS CAMP video, and has mentioned before that I should come visit. To my surprise, he told me again to come down to their church for a few days. Was that a coincidence? If I stayed a few more weeks, I could do that.

I left the church, and found everything covered in snow. I had to drive extra carefully, especially the curving street between church and highway where I had an accident and totalled a car during my two years in Kansas City.

All the way home what I thought to have heard troubled me. Had I heard God? Or reason? Or desire? Well, I'd know soon enough. I emailed my travel agent, asking whether it was possible to change my return date to Mali, and how much it would be. Since I fly out of LA, and the conference is this week, I would also have to get a ticket LA-KC-LA. And I have to talk to Paul, and get his okay that he can handle an extra three weeks.

Finally, I was thinking if that is what God is up to, it would explain why I didn't get any green light for a trip to Austria in March. If I stay here longer, I'll be in Mali in March.

So, please pray for God's will to be done in all this. I'll go anywhere He wants me!

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

Third Day Of Treatments

Today I've been a little discouraged - I thought I'd already notice a difference by now, plus a few critical emails that I knew had to come, plus not really wanting to be treated by the New Age doctor (but then, we go to doctors who hold all kinds of beliefs all the time)...

Tonight I slept better, though I wouldn't call it a good night yet. It took a while to fall asleep, and I woke up a few times, but no bad dreams. It was a rude awakenening when the alarm rang at 8:30 am. I got ready to go to my 9:30 am appointment, but simply couldn't get myself to eat anything; I was too tired. I made myself a sandwich to take along in case I'd stay late again and get hungry.

Today I did not have to wait at all but went in to see Dr. David right away, and I was reprimanded for not having eaten in the morning. He gave me some juice from some amazing Asian fruit with lots of anti-oxidants to get my blood sugar up, as he said. And I had some more two more times one hour apart. He only treated me for half an hour today, and he gave me another supplement against the parasites as the first one wasn't working as well as he had hoped.

After I was done with him, I went through the now well-known routine of going from machine to machine, or treatment to treatment. Today I was done by 1 pm. And by the way, after having been reprimanded for not eating, I got my sandwich out and slowly ate it over the following few hours.

Rest Of The Day

Coming soon.

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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Second Day Of Treatments

Once again I did not sleep well; again, I had a hard time falling asleep and woke up frequently. And once again I had a dream in the morning. This time it wasn't as bad as yesterday. For those who don't know, I studied physics and astronomy at university for a few years, and have the equivalent of a bachelor's degree in both. However, it was quite a struggle for me. In my dream, I went back to university and had to take a physics exam, one-on-one with a professor, and I failed. That's about all I still remember.

While I woke up tired again, at least I wasn't stressed out like yesterday. I got up earlier, and had plenty of time to get ready. I didn't feel like eating though.

When I got to my car, there was ice on the windshield. I borrowed an ice-scraper and removed it. Thankfully I had gone outside early, and so I still arrived at the center early - even before the doctors. In fact, Dr. David arrived at the same time I did. He asked me how I was, and I said ok. He asked me whether I felt any different, and I said no. Still as tired as always when I get up. But I'd only had one day of treatments, so no surprise (to me).

It was before 9:30 which was my appointed time, but my turn only came at 10:10. I didn't leave the place until after 2:30 pm. Today, it was Dr. Samantha who was to treat me. Dr. David is a Christian, but Dr. Samantha New Age, so that made me somewhat uncomfortable. And then the assistant at the reception told me what she would do, which made me even more uncomfortable. Today I would be stretched!

I had an hour with her, during which she did pretty much the same things Dr. David does. I think she's also a chiropractor, and she worked on my spine, aligning some vertebrae. My back was aching for a couple of hours afterwards - which actually surprised her. She was also doing some other stuff, before it was time for the next treatment.

The next one was called LUX, I think, and I won't go into details; it has to do with light and frequencies obviously.

Then I did the ST-8 (lymph system) I had already done yesterday, then the detox through your feet (done yesterday), the water being pretty gross again, and then I went into the infrared sauna (first time). I felt just like in Mali in there; the temperature slowly went up from 115° to 130°F. Lastly, I had two minutes with the VIBE machine.

Not having eaten anything all day (not smart), I was rather tired by the time I was done after 2:30 pm. But they had given me a choice to come back later, and I preferred getting it all done and going home for the day.

Rest Of The Day

My hosts had been so kind to tell me that just opposite the Hansa Center, there is a place where they repair watches, so I took my watch there to get it fixed (the one Jill gave me for my ordination). Wonderful! Now I still need to find a way to get my necklace fixed (he wouldn't do it).

Then I could finally go home, where I grabbed an apple and then a sandwich. I was feeling very tired all afternoon, but was able to get an email update written.

Then my wonderful hosts made a special dinner - steak from the grill! Yes, it was warm enough to grill outside! It tasted absolutely great! I enjoyed the fellowship with them again. After dinner, they watched my old presentation from last year, as well as the TV interview. Then they asked me all kinds of questions. They are such a sweet couple. Time just flew by until it was time for bed.

Hopefully I'll sleep well for a change.

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

First Day Of Treatments

I had a pretty bad night. I "already" went to bed at midnight, but simply couldn't fall asleep for the longest time. And I kept waking up during the night. In the morning, I had quite a real nightmare. I was returning to Mali, and picked up in an unknown car with Paul for a meeting with the whole missionary community. Paul wouldn't answer my questions or say anything. Arriving there, the missionaries started accusing me, telling me I couldn't do what I do. I was shocked. I left there, wanting to get home, and send out an email asking everyone to pray as the missionary community was now against me. The toughest was that Paul would not be on my side, but keep quiet as if agreeing with them. As I left the place, I was looking around for our car, but couldn't find it anywhere. I was stuck. Then I woke up. Not a nice dream. I actually shared it with Paul when I talked to him later today.

Needless to say, I was very tired when I got up - nothing new. And then time was just running out so quickly that I felt stressed. No time to eat. Then I had difficulties locking the door. However, I got to the clinic only like 2 minutes late.

I ended up being there for just over 3 hours. The first item on the agend was 90 minutes with Dr. David.

I was rather tired and not feeling too great. He first asked me whether I had any questions, and I did. I wanted to know the results of the bio-resonance scan, if there was anything else than the confirmations of the earlier test. Yes, there was. Now, I'm gonna have a very hard time reproducing what he said. It all made sense, very much so, but repeating it 12 hours later.... so bear with me.

His first priority for this session was my pelvis. He said it's out of line in 31 (I think) ways. He also said that I have a few parasites including a tapeworm. Another big thing I forgot to mention yesterday is that I have lots of yeast in my body. And lots of ammonia. Because of my adrenal glands not working properly, food is not broken down properly and actually transformed into ammonia that is now with all my organs, making their work hard. My muscles only work at 40%, and because of that ammonia problem and adrenal gland problem, I only actually function at 20%. I sure hope I got all of that right ;-). Dr. David, feel free to correct me, please!

Then it was time for the treatment. I lay down face-down on the bed, and he got started, working on my pelvis first. After some time, I turned around, and he continued. One thing was moving my stomach down (I think). I will spare you the rest of the details.

I greatly enjoyed my conversation with him that whole time. It was wonderful. He's a remarkable man, and I felt like it was easy to exchange our views with each other.

At the end he showed something very interesting, which reminded me of an "experiment" Papa Bill had shown me a long time ago, in terms of muscle strength being affected by truth/lies. At the time, I thought it was really weird though it worked. I mentioned it to Dr. David, and he took it a step further. I was quite amazed at what I learned - how our thoughts even affect others. Wow. It makes so much sense. I know how it affects Paul and the kids when I'm not well, or when I'm doing great.

My next treatment was the ST-8, having to do with your lymph system. For 30 minutes I just lay there with the machine on, while listening to worship music and loving on God.

Then I had 30 minutes of detox through a ionized footbath. Amazing how dirty the water was after that half hour!

The final thing was 2 minutes in front of the VIBE machine; definitely the weirdest. It looks like something out of a sci-fi movie. VIBE stands for Vibration Integration Bio-photonic Energizer. I do have a flyer on it though that explains what it does:

There are four general ways imbalance in the body is created:

Toxic substances we eat.
Pollutions we breathe.
Exposures to negative energetic environments, and
How we process information in our thinking and feeling

Your body has a higher frequency or vibration when it's healthy and a lower vibration when sick. The device has many long-term positive effects on the body, as it automatically eliminates the "unwanted vibrations" inside the body.

The Bio-photonic Light produced by the VIBE Machine increases your inner-connectivity to your DNA, giving it what it needs to balance itself.

This machine is a technological breakthrough that enhances the human body by helping it reach its optimum vibrational energy level.

My host Karen gets a few minutes with the VIBE every week, and she says it makes a big difference for her.

I went home after this last treatment, and I don't feel any different yet, but of course it's only the first day. Listening to Dr. David, it really all sounds too good to be true. If I get the results that are predicted, I should feel like a new person. I can't wait!

Afternoon

I got home at 1:30 pm, and had the first bite to eat around 2 pm. I hadn't really been hungry all day, and it felt good. I forgot to mention that Dr. David gave me a whole bunch of natural remedies to take - vitamines, something against the parasites, something for the adrenal glands, and something that says "female only".

I got on the computer to get some stuff done, and turned on the TV to see the rest of the inauguration. Karen came home a little later, and I ended up talking to her for hours (again). We just really connected! That way time just passed much too fast, and I was "only" able to get the financial records for 2008 finished, but no work on my book. Dr. David said today he wants a copy, and one of my board members has been reading the first few chapters and has amazed me with his reaction to each chapter. He loves it! Pray I'll get it done!

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Monday, January 19, 2009

First Day At Hansa Center

I had gone to bed too late last night - not smart. It was talking that woke me up in the morning before my alarm ever went off. My host had already told me that she had students come in in the morning.

My appointment at the Hansa Center was for 10 am. I was nervous, not knowing what to expect, and didn't like having to wait until then. I wasn't up to doing anything productive. Then I got a phone call from the Center, telling me they had an emergency, and I should come in at 10:45 am. Great. I made the best of it.

I had directions printed out on how to get there, and it was only 7 minutes away. My hosts also helped me by explaining to me how to get there. They go there regularly. I followed the directions, and made it there. There were no signs anywhere, and went into the wrong place at first, but they told me where to go.

I walked into there, and the first thing I noticed was the smell. I walked up to the reception, and was immediately greeted by one of the two helpers there, who even knew who I was. She was very friendly. I sat down to wait for my turn.

Dr. Samantha came and introduced herself to me. The founder of the center is Dr. David, and Dr. Sam is working with him. She told me she'd do the thermal scan with me. I went into a room with her that looked like an office, and started talking with her. She was very kind, a sweet lady. She asked me a lot of questions about Austria and Mali, and I gladly shared with her. I was actually glad we talked throughout the whole test that lasted about 50 minutes.

This first test was a CRT, i.e. Computerized Regulation Thermography. What it does is measuring the temperature of your body on I don't know how many points. Then you have to stand in the cold for 10 minutes, and they measure the same points again. The difference in temperature tells them whether that part of your body is working the way it should. That's the non-scientific easy-to-understand explanation. This is what their flyer says:

After 30 years of research, it is now known that the small blood vessels under the skin will constrict (cool) or expand (heat) based upon the healthy, sick or stressed messages coming through the nervous system from the organs directly beneath. Think of it this way - have you ever put a hot water bottle on top of a painful gallbladder, or an ince pack on an inflamed appendix? Actually this has the same effect in reverse. The heat or cold does not penetaret the skin more than a fraction of an inch. So what ever reaches and affects the desired organ is not the change in temperature, but an informational message coming from the skin and being processed through the swtich relay in the spinal cord.

Benefits of the CRT:

Gives a global view of your state of health
The CRT is an FDA approved adjunctive diagnostic device, so the results can be trusted.
The CRT can detect dysfunction even when conventional blood tests, X-rays, MRI & CT tests are negative.

Why be tested?

It allows for exact therapy stragey planning.
The prognosis for chronic disease is made visible.
It clearly shows future disease tendencies or those in the process of development.

The CRT can reveal...

Whether distant tissues are influencing the illness such as teeth, sinus, liver, or even psychological factors.
Whether or not your treatment protocol has affected the causative factors of the disease(s) or whether your treatment protocol is doing more harm than good.

After the test was over, I waited for some time until the doctors could confer, and I was told what time to come back in the afternoon.

I had actually said hello to Dr. David before the test. He was very kind, and told me he was sorry for my loss (Jill's funeral made me postpone my week in Wichita by a week). We also mentioned Andrew, his brother who is also an HIM missionary and who God used to actually bring me to this place.

It was noon when I returned home. I was having a headache. I had hardly eaten anything in the morning, and still wasn't really hungry. I had a sandwich together with my hosts. Karen is a wonderful lady, and I feel like I have talked so much with her already! Her husband only works until noon and also came home. After some time, I got up to get a nap in. My guess was that the headache came from too little sleep, and I was looking forward to lying down.

I had about an hour for a nap, but had a hard time falling asleep. I was cold, and the headache was still there. I chose not to take any medication, not knowing if that would falsify the afternoon's test. I did sleep a little bit finally, and woke up again hearing someone talk. I had a hard time getting up, and getting ready to drive back to the Center. Was I even more tired than in the morning?

Results Of Medical Tests

I got to the center early and sat down to wait. A few minutes later Karen arrived for her weekly treatment, and sat down with me to talk. Dr. David was late for my treatment, and Karen chose to wait with me for her own treatment, since she could go in any time. My appointment ended up being 40 minutes later than scheduled, but that was fine with me. I enjoyed talking with Karen.

I was looking forward to finally getting to know Dr. David. He was very kind and made me feel at ease right away. He's a Christian. We sat down, and he got the results out from this morning's test, and discussed them with me. In short? Everything that can be wrong is wrong with my body. I don't know if there is anything that's functioning the way it should. By the end of the consultation he told me he was amazed that I was doing what I was doing just by looking at the results. So it gives EVEN MORE GLORY to God! I always tell people I can take ZERO credit for what God's done in Mali, and now I have scientific/medical proof :-).

He started going with me through the results of this morning's test, without having read my file and knowing why I was here. The test results confirmed my symptoms. Still, I was amazed to what degree my body was actually malfunctioning. Some of the results were extreme. I actually don't have it in my hands yet. He said all my organs are not functioning properly, pointing out the kidneys. One major thing also was the adrenal glands. One other thing that results in me having a hard time with losing/maintaining weight. He told me what teeth needed their filling changed. My hormones are totally messed up and out of balance. There were several infections visible, including my sinuses.

He said with all this, I must be tired all the time, and that's actually the number one issue I had put on the papers I had filled out - tiredness, lack of energy. He actually called it chronic fatigue.

Then it was time for the bioresonance scan; very interesting. That scan simply confirmed all the other test had shown. Then he took a flashlight and shone it into my eyes. His reaction was shock. My pupils were totally dilated, and he asked whether I didn't need to wear sunglasses and hats all the time. It also confirmed some of the other test results.

I was lying on a bed for that test. Before I got up, he measured my blood pressure. Then he had me get up and measured it again. Those results weren't good either. The blood pressure was far too high, and the change in blood pressure after getting up not the way it should be. He asked me if I wasn't dizzy getting up, and in fact, I had been a little dizzy. I still had that headache.

Dr. David then encouraged me that I'd be feeling A LOT BETTER by the end of the week. The treatments start tomorrow morning. I said good-bye and drove home.

I was still not feeling too great physically. On one hand, the test results were terrible, but there was also comfort in seeing it on paper and confirming what I've been feeling. Plus, I was looking forward to the days ahead, and getting rid of that stuff. It nearly sounds too good to be true that it could be so fast and easy! But I sure hope I'm going to leave here with my body back to what it should be for the most part. If that's gonna be the case, I know I'll feel better than I have in a very long time.

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Sunday, January 18, 2009

Preaching In Topeka

My poor hosts Dennis & Carrie didn't get much sleep, as the baby was crying a lot. Thankfully, I sleep like a stone, and only heard the baby in the morning. It was a natural alarm clock :-).

With the service being at 11 am, I thought I'd have plenty of time to spend with God, but somehow time just flew by, and it wasn't as much time as I would have liked. At 10:30 am we left the house.

We arrived at the church, and I was excited to see the pastors and the people I've met there before again. I've only preached at the church one other time two years ago, since it was house meetings the other times. It's a cute little church building, but it's the people that make it special. It's a small congregation, but they are family. A wonderful bunch I had the honor to minister to.

I've been very aware of my weakness and inability to give anything, but at the same time I knew the Lord just wanted me to share about the last few months and the lessons learned. As I prepared, it was like God teaching me, as if this sermon was for me, and I do know I will need to hear it in the future. I learn so much more when I prepare to preach than when I do my daily Bible study. Hm.

Just after I walked into the building, I saw some people I knew, including the pastors. I greeted them and hugged them. These are such amazing people. The pastors have adopted several kids. And Tom has such a father's heart - more than most people I know. As someone who hasn't had a father, that anointing on him "gets to me" every time he hugs me.

Before the service, he told me just to be myself - he does that every time - and I told him it's all I know to do and be. Then they started their time of worship, which was less contemporary than I'm used to. Who cares. His presence was so there, and that's all that counts. His presence was so sweet, I was simply basking in it. I went down on the floor, enjoying the fellowship with Him.

The pastor himself was leading worship, and at one time he had a word of encouragement for me. Don't ask me now what he said! I was in the Lord's presence at that time, and my spirit received the words.

Then he asked me up. I had a hard time getting up and returning to this realm. I took the mic and simply prayed right away. Of course, that didn't help me to "return to earth". Then I started by saying, "I'm blessed because I've been persecuted, betrayed, accused, ...". Then I read 2.Cor 1:8-11 adapting it to myself:

I do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the hardships I suffered in the country of Mali. I was under great pressure, far beyond my ability to endure, so that I despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in my heart I felt the sentence of death. But this happened that I might not rely on myself but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered me from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver me. On him I have set my hope that he will continue to deliver me, 11as you help me by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on my behalf for the gracious favor granted me in answer to the prayers of many.

Every word rang true in my spirit. I would entitle my sermon "Carry Your Cross" (I hope to be able to have it up on the website within a few days). I spoke about suffering, and rejoicing in it, thanking God in all circumstances, and that it would produce comfort, character, and sharing in His glory. That's it in a nutshell.

God had put two things on my heart for the ministry time. I asked those to stand who had whined and complained and not rejoiced and been thankful during their hard times. Many stood. I then prayed a prayer of asking forgiveness, and asking God to help us in the future.

Then I asked those forward who wanted more of His presence and joy to go through those times. A good number came forward, and I started praying for them, one after the other. Each one of the ladies was crying, as I ministered the Father's heart to them. I spoke words from the Father to them. It was as if I could see them through His eyes. And it was as if their life was an open book in terms of me being able to see the pain and things they've gone through. I myself was quite moved at times. The Father deeply touched those ladies, and I'd love to get some testimonies back.

I had shared openly my testimony with these people - more than ever before in public, about what I've gone through as a child, and I believe many identified with that.

When I was done praying, most people were already gone. The little fatherless girl inside of me wanted to be held by the pastor who has that amazing father anointing. He came over to pray for me, and so I told him. He took me into his arms, and that alone ministered to me big time. He told me he often wanted to do that when I was over in Mali going through things, and now he could do it. Then he called over his wife and two other ladies, and we did a "group hug" with them praying for me. I didn't want it to ever end. I was so thankful for the ministry.

I then got into the pastor's wife car, and we drove somewhere. It was a secret, and I was wondering what they were up to.

Time Of Fellowship

We actually drove back to my friends' house where I had spent the night. The secret was that my friend had tried to get other friends of mine to come, but it didn't work out.

We ate spaghetti, and talked. Matt was there too who came to Mali for one month last year. It was great to catch up with him.

After some time the pastors left. I was sad that I hadn't had an opportunity to talk to them, just the three of us. How long is it gonna be this time until I'm back?

I then started packing up to get ready for my 2+ hour ride to Wichita, KS. Once again, it was time to say good-bye to my precious friends. They helped me get my stuff into the car, and with a somewhat heavy heart I drove off. The pastors always say I have a family here. I just wished I'd had more time with them.

Arriving In Wichita

But I was on my way into new territory! I'm always very excited when I go places I haven't been to before! I love it! I started my long drive, listening to worship music and praising him, enjoying His closeness. I was driving southwest, and could see the sun go down - it was so beautiful.

It was after 7 pm when I got to Wichita, and dark. I discovered a problem. The light inside the car didn't have a switch. How would I read the directions to my hosts' house? I used the light of cars behind me to decipher them, and once of the highway, I pulled on the door handle which made the light come on for a few seconds.

Thank God for cellphones! I called my hosts a few times to be able to find their house, and I did. I pulled up into the driveway and was greeted by the husband. He helped me carry my stuff inside where I met his wife. They showed me my room, and we sat down to talk. I was blown away by their kindness! You have to know, I don't actually know these people personally. It's the first time I've met them. A mutual friend connected us. The wife told me that as she was praying, she felt God telling her to host me in their house, rather than looking for another place for me. Awesome!

I greatly enjoyed talking to them, and ended up telling them amazing details of my life, since they were asking me all those questions.They are former missionaries - 25 years in Brazil - and they are friends with the doctor of the clinic I came to Wichita for. They told me some more about the clinic which was good to hear. I have to say, there are not that many things I'm still afraid of, or moments when I'm afraid, but I'm nervous about tomorrow. At the same time, I have great anticipation of what's ahead.

Well, it's after midnight now, and I have a day full of tests at the clinic tomorrow. I'm sure I'll have some interesting things to tell tomorrow night.

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Saturday, January 17, 2009

My Third TPM Session

This morning much of the snow was gone, and the rest melted during the day as temperatures went up again. I drove over to my friends' house for my third (and maybe last for this trip) session. As always, God went into some painful memories with me, and set me free with his truth. It's so wonderful when He shows up, and you're in His presence, and He's so close that you feel like you can touch him, and you can literally ask Him anything. I wished I could live in that place all the time!

Driving To Topeka

I drove back home, wanting to get some things done in the afternoon, including spending time with God and add or substract to my sermon notes for tomorrow. However, I never got round to it, but God was speaking to me in the car about it.

I organized and packed my stuff, and ended up leaving at 4 pm only. It's a two-hour drive to Topeka. I spent the time worshiping God, and it was a wonderful time with Him.

I arrived in Topeka at 6 pm, and with some help from my friend Carrie by phone, I found their apartment. It was great to see Carrie & Dennis again, and I saw their little two and a half month old son Asmund for the first time. He's a precious little guy. Those pictures show him with his Dad.

My friends made a WONDERFUL dinner in my honor - steak, mashed potatoes, mushrooms, and peas. It was great! We spent the evening having fellowship, and trying to calm down junior.

Tomorrow morning I'm preaching in their church, and I wanted to use a cartoon to show. However, the church doesn't have a projector, and couldn't print it out on transparencies. So Dennis was so kind to drive with me over to Kinko's. The guy there has probably never had to print a transparency (who still uses them!) and needed his boss to come help him. It took quite some time before we actually got it.

From there we went to Sheridan's to get some frozen custard for all of us. Yummy! Then we went back home, and I got on my computer.

It's 11 pm, and I'm tired. Thankfully the service is only at 11 am.

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Friday, January 16, 2009

Lots Of Snow

In the room where I'm sleeping, I cannot see outside. I had a 9:30 am appointment, and as I opened the door, I was totally surprised at what I saw. Snow everywhere! I had already seen online that it was cold - minus 18°C, which is just below 0°Fahrenheit. Now I had to clean off my car. On the picture, you can't really see the snow that was on it on the side the wind was coming from. Since I didn't have an ice-scraper, I needed to use a rag. But it was all beautiful fresh snow. In fact, hearing the crunch under my boots made me want to go skiing!! You don't go skiing in Missouri :-(.

This picture shows the house I'm staying at. My friends spend 8 our of 12 months a year in Africa, and they're hear right now. They rent the upper floor, while the house owners live downstairs. I love staying with them - they're an amazing couple!

Meeting Precious People

My first appointment was with the pastor of Christ Triumphant Church; that's the church that's so kind to receive and pass on all donations for/to me. I love that place, and the pastor, who's a wonderful man. I had an hour and a half to talk with him, which was great.

From there I went to Bob Evan's to meet with one of my board members, a wonderful man of God. We had "breakfast" (or lunch) and just talked away. It was a great time.

From there I went back home, and spent the rest of the day doing different things, including working on my book.

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Thursday, January 15, 2009

My Book

Yesterday I did not have any appointments scheduled. It looked like it was going to be a lazy day.

In the afternoon, I suddenly felt inspiration come down to heaven to continue working on my book. I had planned to do so in Wichita next week, but why not now with nothing better to do?

So I "obeyed", and sat down to write. I ended up working many hours, and adding 2+ more chapters. I was really excited about it!

Today I met with a wonderful friend, and spent 2+ hours talking to him. In the course of the conversation I told him about yesterday, and mentioned that I did not know how to publish it. I had hoped Jill could help me with that. I had also hoped she would write the foreword; in her honor I wrote "without foreword by Jill Austin" on the bottom of my self-made cover.

So when I got home from being with this friend, and checked my emails, to my great surprise I had an email from Destiny Image Europe in my mailbox. At first it was skeptical, but it checked out. They were asking whether I had written or was writing a book, since they were always looking for new aspiring authors who had a God-ordained message for the world. Wow! I was blown away! Could that be God or what? What timing!

I really have not thought much about what happens when people die, and whether they can intercede with God for us, or see what's going on on earth. If I didn't know better, I'd think that Jill prayed for the inspiration, and had the publisher find and contact me. Jill had encouraged me to get it done. James Goll supernaturally received a card from God that He said was from his deceased wife, where she's saying, "I'm always cheering you on." Hebrews 12:1 talks about the cloud of witnesses surrounding us. Any thoughts on this?

Theophostic

Today I also had another TPM session, and found more truth and restoration. I love TPM, how God always encounters the one seeking Him! I feel wonderful now.

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

More Healing

It was finally time for more healing, another TPM session for Claudia. Every opportunity I get to be more healed, and more like Jesus, I take. I'm so thankful to my precious friends Tom & Luanne in Kansas City who make time to minister to me. Where would I be without them!

After a long break, the first session is always tough-going, and today was no exception. However, the outcome was better than a typical first session, as Jesus came to minister to me on a deep level.

My Luggage

It was day 6 since my arrival in Kansas City, and still no trace of my bag. The Delta website would just say they don't know where it is, and I could never get through on the phone. I knew I had no choice but to drive to the airport. I asked Tom whether he would go with me, and to my surprise he said yes.

So, after the session, we started the long trip there. Just as we were taking the exit to the airport, my phone rang. To my great surprise, it was the airport people, telling me they had my bag and wanted to deliver it. I could hardly believe my ears! I told them I was actually just pulling up to the airport, so we could just pick it up. And that's what we did. I was so happy to have my bag back!!! I did not expect to ever see it again! The picture was taken in Mali, before leaving, with my cat in there.

After having picked up the bag, I went to the baggage claim area where there was a man at the desk this time. I showed him the receipts for the clothes I had bought, and he put them into the computer. He told me that the maximum amount was $150, and they would send me a check for that. He was very nice, and I was thankful I had come for that.

We drove back to Tom's house where I got into "my" car and drove home - with my luggage! Thank You, Lord!

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Monday, January 12, 2009

Saying Good-Bye To Jill

Today was a LONG, emotional day of honoring Jill, remembering her, sharing in grief, and saying good-bye, see you later. This was two firsts for me - my first American funeral, and my first Christian funeral. I don't think there was anything typical about this funeral, just as there was nothing typical about Jill.

The viewing was from 11-1 pm. As a European, this is totally unknown to me, and I felt uneasy about it. Why look at a dead body? I want to remember her the way she was, alive and well.

I arrived at the church at about 11:30 am. There was already a good number of people. I was shown where friends were sitting, and got a seat in the third row. I saw the open casket in the front, and the top of Jill's head. That was already enough for me! I stayed as far away as possible. On the screen they were projecting pictures of Jill, and I loved them all!

I saw a friend of mine I hadn't seen in a long time and started chatting with her. I also greeted a few other people, and time just flew by.

At 1 pm the service started. Alan Koch was the MC; he is the pastor of Christ Triumphant Church, the church Jill was a part of, and that I consider my church in KC. He did a great job leading the service.

Several people shared memories of Jill, and it was very precious. One talked about imagining Jill approaching the living creatures and checking them out. James Goll sang a song God had given him - a tune from Sound of Music with words about Jill. It was powerful, and made everyone smile and laugh because it was so true. One of the most precious moments.

I also loved listening to Linda (picture), Jill's assistant and best friend. She shared about first meeting Jill, and that the only question at her job interview was, "Do you love to play?" Jill loved playing, having fun, and was definitely an example in childlikeness for us.

It was a precious two hours. At times tears would come or threaten to come, but on the whole I got through it well. A lot more tears were shed yesterday.

Before the service, I recognized some new friends that had come; the couple that does all the CDs and the shop for Jill. I met them last year, and we immediately connected and have become friends. We sat together, and I then rode in their car with them the rest of the day. I enjoyed having that unexpected time of fellowship with these precious people.

After the service was over, they put the casket into a car, and all those invited to the graveyard ceremony got into their cars to follow behind it. I had never seen anything like it! Every car turned on all the lights, and we had a police escort on motorbikes, as we all drove together to the cemetery in Lee's Summit. I'd say, there were at least 20 cars.

Arriving at the cemetery, we all parked and walked to where they had put the casket. It was pretty cold. We waited for some time since some people had gotten lost, and then a few more people shared, including Shawn Bolz. I was standing in the back, and had a hard time hearing.

One thing was funny. They'd been talking about how Jill had been saying she's gonna get married in 2009 (like me). One person at the service said that now she's married to Jesus. Shawn mentioned how Jill once told him that she would not like it at ALL if someone said at her funeral that she was now married to Jesus. I heard the girl say "sorry, Jill".

André Ashby sang two songs "It is well with my soul" and "Amazing Grace". At the end, someone brought 9 balloons of different colors, and let them rise towards heaven. It was a beautiful gesture. As I watched them rise, I had a déjà-vu, feeling like I had already seen that moment.

I was very cold, and rather discouraged at the cemetery. People were talking, and I saw another friend who could only make it to the cemetery. We talked for a few moments. People slowly started walking towards their cars, and I soon got into my friends' car. It was so cold! And I wasn't feeling too well, having a headache. Thankfully my friends had some headache medication, and it was okay after that.

I showed them the way back to IHOP, and we followed the directions from there to the house where the reception was taking place. Many were already there, many who I didn't know. I got some food, and soon started talking to another friend - Steve. He's a wonderful man of God who follows what's happening in Mali and prays for us. It was so precious when he introduced me to two different people, who both loved to hear what's going on in Mali.

My really good friend Debbie, who was also close to Jill, was also there, and we arranged to meet before I leave Kansas City.

Heidi Baker had been retained by snow in Denver, and didn't make it to the service or cemetery. Instead she showed up at the reception and shared a few words there. She wasn't with us for more than half an hour.

I was ready to go home, feeling tired and drained. But I didn't want to leave without having talked to Linda. I finally got that opportunity and exchanged a few words with her. I love Linda a lot too!

We finally left around 7 pm or so. My friends took me back to the church where I had left my car, and I had to say good-bye to them.

It was freezing cold as I got into my car and started my half-hour drive home. There was a wind advisory out, and you could feel it pulling on the highway. I was glad when I got home for some rest and sleep.

There's one thing I keep forgetting to mention. Every time I think of Jill in heaven, what I see is her dancing with Jesus, laughing, so full of joy and life. One speaker said that he/she believes God had given her a choice, and she chose to stay with Him rather than come back. I could definitely see her making that choice, since she so loved her Bridegroom!

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Sunday, January 11, 2009

Day Of Many Tears

It started with the morning service. I was looking forward to going to CTC, and even more so with the short-notice guest speaker James Goll. It was going to be my only Sunday at CTC - divinely orchestrated by God, because I had to be there today.

CTC is the church Jill attended her last few years in KC. During my two years in KC, she did all her conferences there, and as her student, I was in every one of them. It was that Dec 2001, just a few months after I had moved to KC, that Todd Bentley first met Jill, and first came to KC. It was a very powerful and significant conference! One of many more to come.

James Goll is very connected to KC, and a very good friend of CTC's pastor; he was also very close to Jill.

I always love walking back into this church that I so love when I come back to town. Unfortunately there's quite a big turnover in members, and so there are only few left that I know. I was glad to say hello to the pastor before the service, and told him how long my trip took and that my bag seems to be lost. We also acknowledged Jill. There were a few others I also said hello too.

On my way there I was already fighting tears as I was thinking of Jill, and as the service started with worship music, my desperation for God threatened to cause me to break down weeping. It took some effort to keep my composure, only letting the tears roll down. I wasn't able to join in singing at first, but after some time, all I had going round and round in my head was the verse that says, "though He slays me, yet will I praise Him". Yes, Lord, I will praise You, whatever the circumstances.

Before James Goll came up, pastor welcomed me and had me stand up for a moment. He mentioned the long trip and lost bag. Then James came and started talking, and it didn't take long for the tears to flow, for different reasons. He shared about his wife's death a few months ago, and also about Jill. It was a powerful message, and I really should get a copy. He also gave a lot of encouragement, and that also made me cry in the midst of my own discouragement, as I so much want to grab that, but have a hard time right now - "hope deferred...".

At the end of the service I went forward because I wanted the pastor to pray for me. He just put his arm around my shoulder and started to encourage me. It just made me cry more. He talked about Jill's mantle, and whether I wanted it, and about promises. I don't even recall. James was standing closeby and came over. I told him that I was close to Jill, and about the frustration with lack of workers and lack of money. The pastor said something about praying for Jill's anointing to come upon me, and he said, "she already has it". Then James started praying for me, and said, "I see 3 - 4 - 5- 6 people coming to help you." That made me cry more. Then he moved on.

I wanted to say hello to some people I knew, and specificly a wonderful man of God in that church who was actually praying for people. I went over to say hello to him, and he said, "Instead of talking, let me just pray for you." His prayer was right on! I was wondering whether he had read all my email newsletters in detail (probably not). He then called over another guy and introduced me. That guy then prayed a few more things - but wasn't that right on.

I found a couple that I'm friends with, and we were looking into a time to get together this week. Finally they suggested lunch right away, and I thought that was a great idea. I voted for an American restaurant, and we went to Culverts - call it a high-quality fast-food restaurant. We had some good food and conversation there. They are a very sweet couple I appreciate a lot.

Remembering Jill Service

(The memorial service is tomorrow.)
I went back home from the restaurant and got there around 3 pm. I was thinking of going to the IHOP service in the evening, though I hadn't been there in years literally. On one hand, staying at home sounded nice, on the other, I felt I needed to go. Now I know it was God who nudged me to go. And I went.

I'm staying somewhat out of town, and so it took me a while to get to the church. When I arrived, the primary parking lot was full, and I had a hard time understanding where I was supposed to park, but I found it in the end.

When I walked inside, they were already worshipping. I found a seat in the last row and joined in. It was already easier than in the morning. After some time, I noticed a group of people walking in and sitting down in the front row. I finally recognized Linda, Jill's assistant. So I went over to say hello. She was surprised to see me, obviously having forgotten I'd be in KC at this time. And she told me that she'd reserve a seat for me with them at the funeral tomorrow. That's very precious to me.

I returned to my seat. After the worship time, they told us that this service would be one of remembering Jill. Great! More tears! But I was still glad I had come. Several people came up sharing about their relationship with Jill, and my tears started flowing again.

However, what was different compared to the morning, was the determination that rose up within me. I realized it was no coincidence I was here. As a daughter, I was picking up an inheritance. And I was determined to pick up that mantle and make my Mom proud of me. I decided to walk in greater anointing, a double-portion, walking away from here, and going into the nations. There's so much of Jill in me when I minister - I'm going to carry on her legacy. (As one of several, I'm sure.)

Interestingly, the altar call was about mobilizing the young ones to go out, as it had been Jill's passion to see this young army equipped. Nearly the whole room went forward, and I did too. Shara - another one of Jill's daughters - had been on the stage sharing as well, and I just wanted to hug her from daughter to daughter, united in grief. I didn't think it would happen, but she saw me, and we hugged each other, before she briefly prayed for me. I then returned to my seat, and home.

During the half-hour drive home I realized what an emotionally draining day it had been, with all the tears. In fact, I've bought contact lens solution and have had to clean them several times. Unfortunately I don't have a case any more (in the lost suitcase), and no pair to replace them (they are the kind you wear for a month, and then replace them).

Well, it's after midnight, and I have another emotionally draining day ahead of me. Viewing is from 11-1, the service from 1-3 pm, and the gravesite part at 3:30 pm. A long day.

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Saturday, January 10, 2009

Seeing Friends

Having bought some clothes yesterday, I finally ventured out today. In the afternoon I went to see my good friends Tom & Luanne at their house, and just chatted with them for a while. At 6 pm my friend Elisabet came - later than expected - and we went to Applebee's for dinner (my favorite affordable restaurant). I enjoyed my steak very much! And it was great to catch up with Elisabet who I hardly hear from during the year.

It was after 8 pm when we left there, but it felt to me like 11 pm (jetlag - 6 hour time-difference to Mali). I had intended to go to church after dinner, but with the delay and the tiredness, I decided to go home, where I went to bed early - at 10 pm.

Changed Itinerary

With Jill gone, and the funeral this week (Monday), I asked the clinic in Wichita whether I could come a week later. The doctor said yes, the secretary wasn't happy and told me I might lose my deposit, since they had set time aside for me all week. Great. Please pray for favor.

So I have switched around the week in KC with the week in Wichita. Kansas City this week, Wichita next week. Please check my CALENDAR page for details. I'm also preaching the next two Sundays, and you find the details there as well.

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Friday, January 9, 2009

Bag Lost?

Two days have passed, and when I check the status of my delayed bag online, it still says "location unknown". Great! All my winter clothes are in there, and all my jewelry and make-up that I possess! I've not been leaving the house here, since I have no clothes to wear (but my travel clothes). I have to leave town on Sunday, and really don't know what I'm gonna do if my bag doesn't get here before then, or if it's lost all the way. Please pray for it to be found and delivered!

Shopping

In the afternoon I finally decided to go shopping, instead of holing up at home and being miserable. If my bag is lost, I have to buy some basic things. With some clothes and toothpaste, I could go out of the house again.

So I got into my car and drove to a shopping area, where I went into different stores buying some basic necessities. I HATE SHOPPING! I can't believe how much time I spent at Kohl's trying to find clothes, and how much money I had to spend for them, even though they were on sale. But I got some nice pieces.

I was so glad when I was on my way back home after several hours. Back home, I enjoyed a wonderful bath in a real bathtub, before finding the dreadful news.

Jill Austin Gone

The first tears came in the morning when I saw that she was not doing well at all, and throughout the day I was praying for her. No news was good news, so I started to hope during the course of the day that she'd make it.

But she left this earth at 9:48 pm. As I read the news, I started sobbing uncontrollably, crying my heart out. No! Not another loved one gone! First I lost my spiritual Dad a year and a half ago, and now my spiritual Mom. God is taking away the people who I love, and who care about me. And thinking back over the past 1+ year, I also lost children I loved, and team members, and was betrayed by 3+ people I trusted. When is this gonna end? One crisis, problem, disaster after the other. Does God not want me to have any joy or happiness? What is going on? Is this ever gonna change?

At the beginning of the year, I told God I'd give him another year - 2009. If nothing changes, I'm throwing in the towel. I cannot go on laboring alone, with no workers to help, and without money. He also said I'd get married in 2009 - so we'll see. SOMETHING has to happen in any case.

I sent out an email update reflecting on my relationship with Jill. This is what I wrote:

Tonight at 9:48 pm Jill Austin went home to be with her Lord. She was a friend, spiritual Mom, and board member. She was also an international speaker, a carrier of God's glory, a prophetess, and a releaser of His presence and fire.

Jill has had a huge impact on my life and ministry, and I cannot express how much I'm gonna miss her. She believed in me, and encouraged me, and sought to connect me with the right people, helping me move forward in ministry. She had the rare ability to see (me) with God's eyes.

When I moved to Kansas City in 2001, I landed in her class by divine set-up. That first class totally changed my life, as I had a ten-day visitation of the Lord during that time that I had the honor of sharing in Jill's newsletter back then. I took every class Jill taught while I was in Kansas City for those two years, and was affected deeply. Jill always talked about "double portion sons and daughters", and I purposed to be one of them.

I moved to Mali in 2003, but every time I traveled to the US, I tried to attend one of Jill's conferences. If I could pick one speaker whose session to attend, it would be Jill. She always had a passion for an encounter with HIM, not just head knowledge, and her meetings were always powerful, full of His power and presence. I knew it would be in her meetings that I'd be refreshed, refilled, and set on fire afresh.

In 2004 Jill was the first one to prophesy that I was an apostle (in training) which catapulted me to a new level in ministry. It was in September that Jill Ahn came to KC, and God showed me to join Harvest International Ministries (HIM) - the network Jill was also a part of, and Jill also prophesied over me again. All those prophetic words are on the ENDORSEMENT page.

In October 2007 I went to England while Jill was ministering there, and had the joy of assisting her. It was a wonderful time. It was during that time that I lost my spiritual Dad - a very painful event, and the first in this series of losses.

In 2008 our relationship deepened, and Jill became one of the founding board members for Healing 2 The Nations International. In July she prayed and prophesied over me at my ordination (picture), and she was the only one to give me a gift - a very special gift. We went out to eat afterwards, and it was the last time I saw her. I had been hoping to see her on this trip, this January.

Instead, I arrived in Kansas City to the news of her being hospitalized, and all of our prayers did not retain her on earth. I'm glad I get to say good-bye to her with others who loved her later this week.

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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

54-Hour Trip To Kansas City

I slept very well in the comfortable hotel bed, having added the other bed's comforter so I'd be warm enough. At 6 am the hotel woke me up out of deep sleep. I got up and got ready. I had a breakfast coupon, but it was too early for me to eat. I stood by the door of the hotel waiting for the shuttle bus.

It pulled up, but as I wanted to get on, the driver told me that it was the end of his shift and I should wait for the next one. So I got back off and continued waiting. It didn't take very long.

I got to the airport less than two hours before my flight. I finally found the elite check-in and thankfully, there were few people. I checked in without problems, after having gone through extensive questioning from the US security people.

Having made it through security, I still had half an hour to go to the frequent flyer lounge where I had breakfast. Then I went to my gate and got on the plane little time later. Would it leave this time?

I was disappointed that it was a Delta plane rather than Air France plane. It's a 10-hour flight, and Delta only has a big screen for everyone, rather than individual screens. Also, the seats are tighter. I was cold and kept my jacket on.

The plane didn't leave a lot later than planned. I was finally in the air on the way to the US! They showed two movies, and thankfully both were good, and the rest of the time I spent napping. During the last third of the trip I started having a splitting headache - probably due to lack of sleep. I was glad when we finally arrived.

But now it was time for immigration. There were hardly any lines, and I was right up front, so it didn't take long. I made my way to the baggage claim next. They had already warned us on the plane that 12000 bags were stranded at the airport in Paris, waiting to be reunited with their owners, and if we had been rerouted, chances were bad that we'd have our bag. They told us to expect to have to wait several days to get our bags. Wonderful.

As expected, my bag wasn't there. I went through customs and went to my bag for the flight to Kansas City. The headache was so bad that I needed to find some medication. I bought some in a store, and half an hour later the headache started to subside.

This third plane wasn't on time either; we had a delay of 45 minutes. I was glad when I sat on the plane, and dozed for much of the flight.

In the morning I'd had a message that my friend who would have picked me up yesterday was unable to do so today. So I was hoping my host would pick me up today, but I had not been online at all to find out what his answer was. So I called him in Atlanta and found out that he was picking me up. Thank God!

I arrived in Kansas City at 6 pm local time, and made my way straight to to the baggage claim area, where I did the necessary formalities to have my bag delivered once it arrives. Please pray with me that it will be soon! All my clothes and toilettries are in there.

I was done with that, but my friend was not there to pick me up. I called him, and he told me he had been delayed and was on his way. So I waited another half hour for him, closing my eyes because of the tiredness.

I was glad to see him, and we drove to my other friend's house since he was lending me a car to use during my time here. We stopped to get a wonderful cheeseburger at McDonald's, and finally arrived at my friends' house. It was good to see them again, and they gave me the car keys. I was so thankful for this miracle of being mobile! I loaded up the packages that had arrived for me there, and then we started out on our half-hour trip to my hosts' house. I drove behind his car, so I would find it.

I was glad when we got home at 9 pm. Door-to-door my trip had lasted 54 hours - a new record! I chatted, opened my packages, and got online. Now it's going on midnight, and I'm gonna hit the pillow. I want to sleep REAL long tonight!

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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Delays, Delays, Delays

I was using my time online at the frequent flyer lounge in Bamako effectively, though I was getting pretty tired. When the time had come, I passed through security (the most careless I know), and stood in line for boarding. When they passed my boarding pass by he scanner, a red light came on. They started going through different boarding passes lying there, and handed me a new one - business class! Yipee! Too bad it's a relatively short flight, and in the middle of the night! Still, I was thanking God for it.

It was 3:15 am before we finally took off. The flight attendant told me that they had lots of snow come down all day, causing huge flight delays in Paris; therefore 3 hours for us. They served us dinner after 4 am in the morning - something my stomach is definitely not used to. I haven't eaten dinner for weeks, lunch being my last meal of the day.

I didn't want to just sleep, but take advantage of the comforts of Air France, and watch a movie. I didn't make it to the end. At 5:20 am I decided to get some sleep, and had two hours, lying nearly horizontally thanks to business class. I love it!

We arrived in Paris at 9:25 am. They only opened the doors at 9:45. We were told it was -8°C (17.6°F) outside, and I was looking forward to it! Though I wasn't happy that the bus from the plane to the terminal would delay us further. And in fact, I arrived at my terminal at 10:15 am; the flight was supposed to leave at 10:45 am. However, it was delayed also - so no hurry. And they've been delaying it since. Now we are at a delay of over 2 hours, which means I miss my connection in Detroit to go to Kansas City. It also meant a chance of going to the frequent flyer lounge, connect, and write you this update.

Evening

12:30 was the new departure time. As this time approached, it changed to 1 pm. I continued waiting. It changed to 2 pm. I was tired. I sat down in front of the screen and occasionally looked up to see whether anything had changed. The short last night spent in a plane was making itself tangible, and so I put my head on my arms, as I was too tired to do anything else. At one time I went to see the airline agents, asking what was going on and whether the plane was ever gonna leave. Two other planes to Detroit were actually leaving during that time of waiting!

They couldn't tell me anything, and so I resigned myself to simply waiting until the time my flight would finally board. I wasn't in a hurry after all, and this was an adventure, something to write about!

The departure time changed to 3 pm, and I kept waiting. 2:30 came, and still no boarding. 15 minutes before my scheduled departure, still nothing. Obviously we weren't leaving at 3 pm. And then suddenly, the word BOARDING started blinking next to my flight's name. Wow, I didn't think that would still happen!

I went to the gate where boarding was already in progress. I got on board rather late and took my seat. Yeah! We made it! Our flight was 5 hours late. The captain made the introductions, and the passangers were counted. We were ready to go!

And then came the voice of the captain, "Due to technical problems everyone has to get off the plane. The flight is canceled." Did I hear right? Some passengers reacted with great frustration as they had been supposed to leave yesterday already, and now their flight was canceled again. Yesterday Air France canceled 120 flights because of bad weather, and today the repercussions were still felt, and another 50 flights canceled.

It was 3:30 pm, and I rightly assumed that no one would go to the US still today. All those passengers from the canceled flights had been rebooked on the remaining flights, and now there was another plane full of 300 people to rebook! Good luck!

We went to the Air France counter where everyone started lining up. I was in the frequent flyer line - much shorter than the regular line. I was about the nineth person in line. It was amazing to see the length of the line with a whole plane lining up! After some time, Air France personnel came take half the people to other counters elsewhere. The regular people had about 7 people helping them, while we had only one! And he just didn't get anywhere with the passenger he was trying to help. Some people were getting upset about that, and asking for another agent to come help us. Finally someone came. This one lady needed 80 minutes to get her flights taken care of!!

We kept waiting and waiting and waiting. Air France gave us sandwiches and drinks. It was moving along very slowly, but I was thinking of the adventure this was. I started talking with the American lady right behind me. I really needed to go to the bathroom, but after nearly two hours of waiting I was next in line and I didn't want to leave. Finally it was my turn.

The agent started looking for flights to Kansas City, and told me there weren't any tomorrow. I was praying silently. Suddenly she said she found one, and the times were perfect! She said this was the LAST seat ont he plane! Praise God! Prayers answered!

She gave me a coupon for the hotel including dinner and breakfast, and I was done. I had been in line two and a quarter hours. I made my way to where the hotel shuttles are leaving from. It was extremely cold, minus 8-9°C. My shuttle was just leaving, not even having been able to take everyone with them. There were lots and lots of people, as lots of flights were canceled or missed. It was 6 pm.

The shuttle was supposed to come every 15 minutes. We started talking with each other as we were waiting. 15 minutes passed, and no shuttle 20, 30, 40 minutes, and still no shuttle. One guy called the hotel who didn't know anything. When I called my hotel, they didn't even pick up. I was shivering because of the cold, and my toes were starting to get frozen. 50 minutes had passed. Some hotel busses had passed by numerous times. Knowing that all those hotels were close to each other, I was wondering whether we could just take a bus to another hotel next to ours. I asked one bus driver, but he wouldn't take us along.

60 minutes had passed. I didn't know how much longer I could stand the cold. Was the bus gonna come? And then it came, and everyone rushed to be able to get on. I was upfront, and people were pushing from the back. I made it on, and was relieved to be in the much warmer bus. I was talking to my neighbor during the ride to the hotel. We got to the hotel at 7:30 pm, where there was already a long line at the reception desk.

Two of the people in line with me at the airport were also there, and we were all talking while waiting for our turn. My turn came, and I received my room key. I dropped off my stuff in the room, and went right back down for dinner. When I entered the restaurant, I saw the American lady I had stood in line with the airport, and joined her and her soon at their table. The meal was somewhat buffet style, and it was okay. I enjoyed talking to the lady, but didn't stay that long since I was tired. So I returned to my room and started writing my blog.

I wanted to take advantage of having the room and take a wonderful bath, but I'm simply too tired. It's nearly 11 pm, and I can hardly keep my eyes open. My wake-up call comes at 6:15 am, and I should get some sleep now.

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Monday, January 5, 2009

Souleymane Staying

Souleymane had already transferred his stuff over to his grandmother's house on the weekend. This morning, Paul went along to school with Jean and the kids, and after dropping them off, they took Souleymane to his grandmother's house.

Souleymane's father was there and said that he would go find a school together with Souleymane, so no need for Paul to stay. Okay. Paul went on to run some other errands.

I was busy all day preparing for my trip to the US tonight. At around 11 am, Souleymane showed up and asked to talk to me. Yesterday, his grandmother had shown up here, but I was not available to talk to her, so Paul did. She was asking him to let Souleymane stay with us until summer so he could finish the school year.

Now Souleymane was asking me the same. I told him that either he could stay until he was adult, or he couldn't stay at all, but he can't just stay another six months. His leaving had nothing to do with the school year, but with his inability to submit, respect, obey, and follow the rules. He told me that he had gone to two schools in his neighborhood with his father, but both were full and couldn't take any more students. That was indeed a problem.

He promised he'd change and never do any of those things again. Yeah, right. But my heart was starting to melt as I looked at my boy who had tears in his eyes. Should we give him another chance?

I told him I couldn't make any decisions without having talked to Paul, but either way he could go to school with the other boys in the afternoon.

When Paul came back, I talked to him, and we decided to indeed give him another chance. We called him in and told him those things of the past do have to be things of the past. If he acts like that again, there won't be another chance. He accepted, and was visibly relieved.

Construction Update

As I said, I spent the day preparing for my trip, organizing and arranging everything so it would be as easy as possible for Paul to manage everything. I also told him a hundred things, and hope he retained most.

I talked to Kossi, our construction superviser, today, to find out a few more things and tell him some things. They've been plastering the ceiling of the dining hall, and aren't done with that yet. Then they're going to plaster the walls, and put in lights (can't wait for that!). That will help greatly with the street kids sleeping in there.

I purchased a swingset from missionaries for Christmas, and it should be transported here and installed this week. I also asked Kossi to do something with the walls, so kids don't just climb over them onto our property.

One thing they started working on today was the enclosure for the new generator that was donated to us (I think). There's this opening under the staircase, and they're putting up a lattice so no one can steal the generator once it's inside. The generator will help us greatly in providing additional energy.

It was touching to see how much Kossi wants my house to be built. He said he's hoping to start even before my return, with the cement and sand left over from plastering the walls. He couldn't tell me a number for how much it's gonna cost to put in the tiles in the dining hall - something I'm looking forward to!

Off To Kansas City

The time for departure has come once again. In just over an hour I'm leaving home to go to the airport - at 9 pm to be exact. The flight is at 11:45 pm, and I arrive in Paris just after 5 am Malian time.

This year I'm going straight to Kansas City - and it's totally atypical for me to stay in one place for 3 weeks :-). Well - in terms of planes only, since I'll be going to Wichita and Topeka as well - driving. I'm looking forward to going to the city where I lived for 2 years, and seeing old friends again. I'm also looking forward to finding more inner healing (through TPM sessions), as well as physical healing during my 5 days at the Hansas Center. And finally, most important of all, to be recharged and restored spiritually, so I can come back to Mali strong and ready for the tasks and challenges ahead.

Please pray for a good trip without incidences, and favor wherever I go!

Midnight

I'm sitting at the lounge at the Bamako airport. Why? Let me tell you what has happened since I wrote the above.

Time had passed very quickly this afternoon, and so nine o'clock came faster than expected. However, I was ready. My cat has been following me and looking at me with those "knowing" eyes all day, and it didn't help. I put the furniture together to protect from dust and from Sweety peeing (which she does when I'm gone), and she found a few comfortable spots on there to sit on and watch me.

As every time, you keep thinking, "have I got everything", and, "I must not forget to tell Paul..." this and that. And then the street kids all came to say good-bye before going to bed. A small group of kids stood before me, all sad-looking because I was leaving, asking me all kinds of questions, how long I'd be gone, and that they'd want to come along next time. I said good-bye to them and let them go to sleep.

I had asked my kids to stay up a little to say good-bye. We loaded my stuff into the car, and then formed a circle in the courtyard, them praying for me, and me praying for them. It was a precious moment. Then I walked towards the car, and the street kids were standing at the windows looking out and shouting and waving good-bye. Jean was driving, and Paul and Oumar (a young Christian man who comes to our services) came along as well.

I was sitting in the back of the car with Paul, so we could talk one more time. At the airport, they "unloaded" me and went on their way. Only passengers are allowed to enter the airport terminal. I showed my passport, and went inside.

There was a long line at the Air France checking. Being a platinum member now, I passed by the line and went straight to the counter. The lady there informed me that the plane was delayed by 3 hours because of bad weather in Paris. I've never seen Air France with that kind of delay! It meant that our plane was leaving at 3 in the morning! And then the lady told me to go to the Air France ticket counter to change my connection flights, since I would miss them. Great!

I went over there and already found a LONG line. There was only ONE person taking care of all those passengers who were missing their planes! Incredible. I stood in line for an hour and a half. There were two German families - one in front and one behind, and I did some small talk with one of them. I also called Paul to ask them to come back. With the flight 5 hours away, I could go home a lie down a little.

When it was FINALLY my turn, the guy told me that my flights didn't need to be changed but that I had sufficient time to catch my plane in Paris. All that waiting for nothing! However, I only have one hour - that's VERY little for the Paris airport, so we'll see whether I'll make my flight. In any case, it's the only flight to Detroit that day, so please pray!

Poor Jean, Paul, and Oumar had had to wait for me for an hour and a half. They were tired and have to get up early tomorrow. It was 11:15 pm, and I was talking with them whether I should go home or stay at the airport. I was tired too, and going home again seemed to tiring. Plus, it would be inconvenient for them - or at least for Jean - to have to come back to the airport in the middle of the night. So I said good-bye, and went back inside.

Air France had given me a coupon for a drink and sandwich in the airport restaurant. So I went there and picked up some water and the sandwich, then I went into the frequent flyer lounge where I've been since. And I still have another hour and a half at least until boarding. At least they have free internet access, so it's a chance to catch up on emails.

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Saturday, January 3, 2009

Saying Good-Bye

I have not slept much these past few days, as I've had a hard time falling asleep. I wanted to continue teaching the street kids to read and write this morning, but Paul let them go for the day before I could stop him. Since it's Saturday, he thought there'd be no class.

Just after I had gotten up, Paul informed me that Saloum and Fousseni wanted to leave now. I had told them to let us pray for them before they leave. So I went to their side of the house, and we surrounded them, laying hands on them, and praying for them. I prayed for protection, blessings, and that they'd be lights in their families. I then told them they'd always have a place in my heart the rest of my life, and that I'd always be there for them if they need anything. I hugged them, and they left.

Travel Preparations

Guess who wants to come along ;-) ... my little cat Sweety. She definitely thought my bag was the most comfortable place in the house! My cat is extremely attached to me, and always suffers greatly when I travel.

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Friday, January 2, 2009

Elisabeth

It was time to take a picture of Elisabeth, who has been faithfully cooking for us. She's Paul's step-mother, and still lives in our old neighboorhood. She, her husband, and their 5 small kids will move in with us later this year. She's an absolutely wonderful lady and great blessings. In the picture, Moise is on the left, and Jérémie on the right.

Betrayal

Once again I have been betrayed by a friend I trusted completely, and it comes as a total surprise and shock. This person has lied to my face, telling me stories he knew would touch my heart and make me help financially, and I've given him money repeatedly.

Now it's come out that this person has taken the church's money where he's part of the leadership team, has tried to sow division between husband and wife pastoring the church, and has basically destroyed the church as many have left. I talked to the pastor today to have corroborated what I'd been told. He still lives at the church but is looking for a place to move to, and has told them that he'd start working with us. Yes, I had invited him to come join our team.

Thank You, Lord, for bringing these things to light before he could come to destroy us next!

Kids Leaving

The three kids leaving are not moving any finger any more to help with anything, and I've hardly seen them.

Saloum has talked to his family, and is moving tomorrow. He came to see me today, and I told him I'd like to pray for him before he leaves.

Fousseni also came to see me, and I told him the same thing. He asked whether he could use one of the bikes to come to our base in the morning from his Dad's home, to take the car to school with our kids. I told him that would be okay.

I have not seen Souleymane but continue being shocked at his speech, even as I hear him talk outside. He's moving back in with his grandmother who lives in another part of town. Since our boys' school will be too far for him, he will transfer to a school near his grandmother's place. On Monday Paul will go to his new school with him to take care of the paperwork. He's staying until then.

Sekouba asked to talk to me today, and asked forgiveness for what he'd done (which none of the other kids had done). I told him he should know that I would have let him go, since he's not a kid but team member. He told me it was Souleymane whose idea it was, and Saloum who put the clothes on his bed so it looked like he was sleeping. I forgave him, and he said it won't happen again.

Enoch

Enoch came yesterday for his monthly visit to pick up his money for the month. He was so joyful that I was wondering what had happened.

We sat down at night to talk, and he started telling me about all the wonderful things happening in Dio and the other villages, and that it was all thanks to me. I was wondering why he was talking that way, and found out later that Paul had told him about my being discouraged, and he wanted to show me the difference my being in Mali has made. And it did touch me, all he was saying. There is definitely much fruit in the villages! People getting healed, people getting saved, kids getting educated, kids getting fed. Where there was death before, there is live now. But I can definitely not take any credit - God is the one who did it all!

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Thursday, January 1, 2009

Consequences

I had little sleep, as the noise of 45 kids woke me. I had left a note for Paul last night to let him know what had happened. When I saw him in the morning, I sat down with him to talk.

I told him I believed it was time for the kids to return to their families, and to my surprise he agreed. He had also seen the bad influence they have on the new kids, and the way they talk to us and behave. Then he told me that God had shown him there were changes ahead. That was another confirmation.

My mother's heart was breaking, but I knew it was the right decision. We called all the kids to come inside to talk to them. I shared my heart and then told them individually what we had decided.

Saloum, who is turning 19 in three weeks, and who has refused every task we've tried to give him to become a team member, now that he's adult. Sometimes I see an adult in him, other times I'm shocked at his behavior. Since moving in with us 2+ years ago, he has reconciled with his father, and can move back in with his family.

Fousseni (17) has also reconciled with his father and already been considering returning to his household. Now he had his wish.

Souleymane (15) had lived with his grandmother in Bamako until she couldn't afford taking care of him any more. She gave him to Enoch, and he moved to Dio. After one year there, Souleymane moved in with us, to give him a better future than he can have in the village. We didn't know at the time that he DOES have parents. I asked him to check out who he can move in with.

Abdias (15) has recently visited his grandmother for the first time in years, and it was a great, joyous reunion. Then his mother came to visit him, and told us that Abdias's father wants to sign Abdias up for the army. So I told Abdias he could wait out here what's gonna happen. In any case, Abdias is not an instigator, but someone who always comes along whatever the other does.

As for Sekouba, who is a team member, and not a kid, I told him about my disappointment, and that I couldn't have team members who lie to me and deceive me. I didn't say what consequences there would be. I knew we'd still have to talk privately.

Then I addressed all the other kids, the new kids, and made it very clear once again that leaving the property at night, secretly, without asking, was totally unacceptable, and a reason to get kicked out. They said they understood.

When I addressed the three boys that are leaving, they were all smiling, and acting all cool, as if they were happy with my decision, even relieved. I know that with Fousseni I'd had the impression before that he's trying to act really bad so he'd get kicked out and can move back in with his Dad, rather than having to be the one to make the decision to leave.

In any case, we have peace about the decision. I'm looking forward to peace returning to our home. I believe it will be best for them to. They will be able to be a light in their homes, and realize what they've had with us. Who knows, they might come back as team members in a few years. For now, they'll be non-resident sponsored kids, as we continue paying school for them and providing basic needs.

New Kids

I've been amazed, watching the new kids. They can spend hours playing with legos, or the little train running on tracks. The "old" kids never cared for any of the games I brought home. I've enjoyed watching the kids, and encouraging them, telling them what a great job they're doing.

Doctor Dupont

Finally a picture of the doctor. Dupont has been very faithful in coming once a week to treat our kids and the street children. He does that totally free of charge, and has been a great blessing. I'm glad our medical supplies are put to good use.